Do You Hate Your Kid's Friends?

20

fight, dogsOkay, maybe hate is too strong a word.

But I know I'm not the only mom out there who has some, let's see how I can put this, um, issues with her kid's friend.

Now they started out fine, my boy and his friend we'll call Dave. In fact, our very first playdate as a kindergartner was with Dave. We went to his house, met his interesting, college professor parents, and said hello to his older sibs--including a 10-year-old sister, who didn't return the greeting (was this a sign?).

What I hadn't realized early on was the dynamic between the two boys. My kid is much more of a follower, Dave much more the leader. As the months went by, Dave started to get sort of mean to my son. He'd come home with tales of how Dave wouldn't play with him during outdoor play, or how Dave told someone else not to be my son's friend.

The straw that broke the camel's back for me was when the wrestling began. During outdoor play, apparently, wrestling among the boys had become the activity of choice. Now Dave is about a head taller than everyone else--he's among the older kids in the class and he's got giant parents. But I digress. One day I picked my baby up from school, and he told me that Dave hit him.

In haste I said let's talk about it in the car. Well, which would you like to hear first? How Dave was punching my son in the stomach repeatedly to see how much pain he could take? Or how he punched him in the face?

When my kid said this, I almost went crazy. But when I slowed down enough to examine his face closely and realized that my 5-year-old practically had a black eye, I lost it!

After lecturing my son about not letting anyone hurt him, calls to the teacher and a talk with Dave's mother about how I don't buy the "boys will be boys" thing and that her son had better keep his hands to himself, I felt a little better that this won't happen again. But it surely did nothing to help me like Dave.

Do you dislike any of your kid's friends? Why?

behavior, bullies, elementary school, friends

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PhlebMom PhlebMom

I can't I hate my kids friends, but I really don't like them. One of our neighbors daughter stole my daughters MP3 player just two weeks after Christmas. I confronted them nicely, just saying that sometimes we pick things up that don't belong to us by mistake and that sometimes kids get scared because they don't want to look like a thief So I asked if I could just look around and see if I find it. The mother got pissy with me and said her daughter doesn't steal. If you really believed that your child didn't take it why would you get all up in face like I had just killed your mother.


I don't like when her friends come over and think by hugging on me that that means I will let them walk all over me. Don't kiss my ass if you never have ment me.

Poiso... PoisonousBlonde

My 8 year old has this one friend and I wish they weren't friends. The little girl just turned 8 and she cusses like a sailor, I have been around her and the words that come out of her mouth, f*ck you, this sh*t sucks and etc.. I know her parents allow her to cuss like that, I know because I talked to her parents once. I was just talking to them about nothing important, the little girl goes up to the father and says "shut the f*ck up." the dad is like ok sweetie. He looked at me and said "she cusses all the time, it is no big deal." She steals from other kids and not little stuff either. I told Mara I wished she wasn't friends with her but Mara is a very smart girl and she knows what her friend does is wrong.

TJFBG... TJFBGMommy

My 10 year olds best friend is so annoying.  I picked him up to take the boys to a movie.  The entire car ride he lectured me on abortion, how it's performed, how I should have had one with this pregnancy.  I was 35 weeks and my pregnancy was planned down to the month!  Not that it was ANY of the little brats business.  I can't be in the same room with that kid for longer than 5 minutes.  He makes me want to hurt something.

jen_g... jen_greiner

My son plays with a friend of mine owns daughter -- they were born two days apart, so we thought them playing together was meant to be. I hate when they play together because her mother didn't raise this child with a sense of sharing. When ever she doesn't get her way she cries, and not even a small cry, and HUGE full blown 'i just got my hand chopped off' cry. It drives me insane. I hate going on play dates together and hate dealing her for long periods of time. She rubs off on my 2 year old and i can't take that.

Joyza... Joyzap2003

Miguel has a friend that I absolutely can't stand.  He'll call my cell phone...only phone we have right now....and then when Miguel answers the call he just sits there and doesn't say anything.  When he finally says something he's extremely rude.  We are going to try to get a house phone soon and I'm going to tell Miguel that his friend is not allowed to call my cell phone anymore.  If I let Miguel give this kid our home number he will only be allowed to call once a week and the call will be limited to 15 minutes.

DanaWar DanaWar

I have also lived through all of this and it stems from the family, even the neighborhood or town.  I always break it up and redirect but plenty of local people think I am persnickety..............have the courage of your convictions, realize you somehow know better and rock on.........(my son found friends he had more things in common with through YMCA and art classes, rather than the corner playground, it could help)

3gift... 3gifts.from.god

Some of them. A few of the neighbor hood kids my son used to play with (yep, I won that one, although my son doesn't realize it. He chose to dump them) are rude and destructive. They would cuss, knock down signs, and stand in the road whild cars were trying to get by. Now they are  in to playing "chicken" in front of everyone's cars. The police have been called out 3 times in one hour before by 3 different people (including me) who's car they went out in front of. I hate those kids, and thier parents who choose to ignore them. Poor things as of right now have no chance at a future with that kind of parenting.  

krys1973 krys1973

OH I know this one! My oldest has this friend I cant stand. Well first it was good. He would always say Hi Mrs. _____ when he would greet me. He was so respectful in the beginning. Now he is annoying. He no longer greets me as Mrs. ____. He constantly hangs on my son. Even my son says he is getting annoying. Grrrrr I just wish my son could meet more normal friends.

nonmember avatar Johan

I just read this story and have quite a problem going on at my household. 1st off I'm a teen sister with 2 little brothers age 5 and 3 that are having troubles. My mom's friend has 2 kids, 1 boy and 1 girl. They will be call Sean and Sara. Sean is a leader while my brother is laid-back and doesn't really care what they do. Sean constantly hits my older brother. grabs him, makes him feel horrible about himself, etc. My brother isn't much of a fighter and hates what Sean does to him. These parents watch my Little brother get hurt bad and they DO NOTHING ABOUT IT!! My mom's friends laugh at my brothers misery and sometimes calls him a wimp. The little girl hits my youngest one basically provoking him. When he hits back the parents overreact saying she is just a little girl and a bunch of other crap. There good little kids in front of us but behind our backs there like Demons!! What should we do about this?? Mainly for my mom because faster and faster my mom's Momma Bear is coming out....Thanks so much!!

Frust... Frustrated247

 Just this year a family moved in across the street they have to 2 preteen children. The boy is a good boy,very respectful but the daughter is a different story.She and my daughter became fast friends.I like the parents. We have become friends as well but they lack discipline for their daughter she gets away with everything by throwing tantrums, whining, back talking, yelling etc..They give in to her fits and she sly smiles about it.I didn't have a problem until she started get my child to do things,say things and act out like she does.I feel like I have a whole different child living in my house these past few months. My daughter comes to my when this girl hurts her, filling me in with the things this child has done.Yesterday was the biggest blow yet.She talked my daughter into hiding a knife after a friend felt threatened by her.My daughter lied for her.This little girl didn't say a word, just stared at my child with this dumb look on her face,knowing the trouble that my daughter was in she watched it all unfold.I told my daughter that their friendship was over,no more will I put up with that girl and her troubles.My daughter yelled at me that she hates me for this.I think I could live with her hating me for now,but my husband says that they will find a way of hanging out behind my back.I just want to save my daughter from getting into bigger trouble because of this girl. 

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