Kids Say the Darndest Things

Photo by kevinsgirl

One thing I've learned about kids is that there's very little filter between what's going on in their heads and what comes out of their mouths.

And they have a tendency to say the most embarrassing things at the most inconvenient times (like when you're in the check-out line of an overcrowded grocery store!). Needless to say, their vocalization definitely keeps mommas on their toes.


This video takes the best clips from the old hit TV series, Art Linkletter's House Party, in which Art asked kids questions at the end of the show that received roll-on-the-floor-laughing answers. It starts off a little slow, but bear with it, it's hil-a-ri-ous!!!

If there was still a show like this, some of these CM mommas below should put their kids on it! I was rolling on the floor laughing when I read these.

anonymous: Last Easter I had printed out a sign to the kids from the Easter Bunny ... they insisted I had laid out all the candy and eggs and had made the sign. When I asked them why they thought that, my DD (age 6 at that time) said, "How would the Easter Bunny know our names?" I said "Well, Santa knows your names ..." to which my very intelligent DS (age 8 at the time) replied, "Duh ... he has a list!"

anonymous: My son told his teachers at school:

  1. That we don't feed him; he is only allowed to eat the food at school.
  2. That we have no money, and we are selling him to Egypt.
  3. That he had five older brothers and sisters, but that his mother didn't want them anymore -- only him -- so I killed the others and buried them in the backyard."

Thankfully, my son's school realizes that my son is constantly seeking attention and didn't report me to DCF. However, they would send letters home every day with the latest and greatest stories he told.

brandyblx: My 7 year old to his younger brother who is refusing to bathe: "Yeah Bryce, you need to take a bath. Because if you don't your wienie gets too dirty and it justs pops right off to wash itself in the ocean. Sometimes it decides that it don't like you no more ... and it NEVER comes back!!"

delanna6: My 8 year old daughter came to me one evening after homework time and said, "Mama, guess what we're doing?"  I bit, and she told me that she and the rest of the children were using their Legos to build models of what they thought a homework machine should look like." 

What are some outrageous things your kids have said? Was it in the safety of your own home or out in public for everyone to hear?

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