Would You Let Your Big Kid Stay in the Delivery Room?


newborn, delivery, witness

photo by evelyn05

Let's say you're pregnant and due any day now.

Let's say you have a 9-year-old daughter too. She's totally excited about the coming new addition and declares that she really  wants to be in the room for the birth.


You say to her...

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Total Votes: 189

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Beyond what you'd do yourself in this situation, what do you think in general about the idea of an older child being in the delivery room?



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the1y... the1youluv2hate

No I wouldn't. With my first child I had my boyfriends 3 year old nephew in the room. I wasn't even asked! I do not think it is something children should be there for. jmo

riotgrrl riotgrrl

My oldest son was in the delivery room for both of his younger siblings' births. I think it depends on a lot of things, such as child's maturity, mom's pain tolerance, how open your family tends to be about stuff like this. I think you need to be honest with the child about the pain and bodily fluids, etc, involved in a birth. Watch some videos or TV segments of birth so they know what to expect, and bear in mind how your child does with seeing other people in pain or seeing blood etc. As you said, it's not for the faint of heart. I don't think there's a right or wrong answer here and only you know your comfort level and your child's comfort level.

RanaA... RanaAurora

My son will be 5 when this baby's born, and I'm toying with this exact idea.  Chances are, I'll probably let him be there.

However, I don't think there's a right or wrong here.  I agree with riotgrrl - it really depends on a lot of things, especially how open your family is with discussion.

grump... grumpyboston

yeah i would but keep the cussing and screaming to a low because you would just scary them and make them nervouse i say keep them near your head

dstei... dsteiner23

My 15 year old was in the delivery room for the birth of her sister (they're now 2 and 17).  It was a wonderful experience for all of us to share that with each other.  I wanted her there, but I gave her the option because it can be traumatic if you're not prepared.  I know she is glad she was there, but I'll tell you what - she's pretty convinced she doesn't ever want kids after seeing all that!

Of course, 15 and 9 are waaaaaaay different so it would depend on the maturity of the 9 year old and the preparation she was willing to put in, like watching some birth movies and talking about feelings.

Also, I made it clear that at any time my daughter felt overwhelmed with what she was experiencing, she could leave the room with no questions asked or hard feelings.

Lanasmom Lanasmom

I think it depends on teh age and maturity--if the child is under 6, i don't think they belong in the delivery room--but 6 or older and if you've had "the talk" with them and they understand what will take place and really want to and your comfortable with it--why not? its completely natural.

MamaC... MamaCatCat

I would leave it up to the child, but I don't see a reason why a well-behaved child shouldn't be present. My DD is only 2, but if we get the homebirth we want for our next child, of course she'll be there. It's her home after all...lol

360 360

my daughter's were13 and 11 when my son was born.  They were in the delivery room.  D13 filmed the delivery.  I had to ask her to turn off the camera when the Dr was stitching the episiotomy.

I think it was the best form of birth control. 

2boyz... 2boyz2pray4

My son was 8 when i had little brother (they are now 3 and 11), he was fine, we discussed it before and he was allowed to leave at anytime if he became uncomfortable (he left twice, I had natural birth,his biggest issue was seeing mommy in pain). I think depending on the child (maturity, age, ability to listen, etc.)and the other supportive adults around it is a great, natural experience for a child to observe and be a part of.

Crazy... Crazy-Steph

No.  I only want my hubby in there.

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