Teacher Goes By Her First Name

on January 22, 2009 at 9:44 AM

teacher, first name basis This random subject has been bubbling up inside of me, literally since the first day of school this year. I suppose it's not such a shock to my ears anymore, but I also still cannot say I'm completely comfortable with it. My son's kindergarten teacher goes by her first name. To the kids.

Well, Melonie* (we'll call her) was out today. And as the children and their parents piled in this morning, a growing chorus of "Where's Melonie?" began. "Melonie!" one child called. "Melonie!" parroted another. For a nanosecond, I really thought Melonie was another kid. (Sorry, morning's not my sharpest time of the day.)

I remember how on the first day of school Melonie introduced herself to excited, nervous parents and children--I loved her warm vibe. But the first name thing caught me off guard. I was raised to call grown-ups by Ms. or Mr.; it's so ingrained in me, I never thought about it being another way. So I quietly asked the teacher if she'd rather my son call her Ms. Melonie. "No, Melonie's fine," she said without a thought. "The school is okay with whatever."

She sauntered off, and I stood there where she left me, stuck in a bunch of weird feelings. What about respect? I'm not stuffy! I'm not old! You can't do this! The thing is, everyone else was--and is--fine. Me? I'm still stuck in the same place.

Tell me that I'm tripping. Even my mom, who brought me up with the Ms./Mr. rule, is over it. But is there anyone else who thinks kids shouldn't be on a first-name basis with adults?

Filed Under: behavior, elementary school

Comments (27)

xxPaulaxx

on Jan 22, 2009 at 10:40 AM

I think it's fine if that's what she wants to be called. Usually it's not out of respect for the adult, it's out of respect for the degree.. and her position. It's not like they'd call the greeter at walmart by Mr./Ms. (last name)...
If you're worried about your child learning respect, they'll learn it next year, when they hit the first grade :)
I had college professors tell the class to call them by their first name, imo, if you're going for the degree, it's your choice what you want to be called

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TXMOM1980

on Jan 22, 2009 at 10:42 AM

dose she have a hard last name maybe thats why she goes by her 1st name.

campomommy

on Jan 22, 2009 at 10:43 AM

i have the same mindset as you, im 21 and i still call anyone who is like 10 years older than me or in a position of importance, like a teacher, Mr/Ms whoever. ...

saltycoqui

on Jan 22, 2009 at 11:00 AM

At first this type of thing caught me off guard too. Most of the teachers add Miss or Mr to there first names. I'm ok with that now. Because you don't get respect with just a name. Respect comes from ones actions. Of course using sir or miss outside the classroom is something my kids do as well, especially when meeting a new person for the first time. It'sok to discuss your discomfort with the teacher.

MamaBear1001

on Jan 22, 2009 at 11:01 AM

i think ms. melonie would've been more appropriate. it's possible her last name is IMpossible, like mine. :D but kids really can learn about anything.

like she said, it's her choice, but i wouldn't be comfortable with it either.

FIVEHAPPYHEARTS

on Jan 22, 2009 at 11:10 AM

ya i would be the same as you i even use yes sir and no mam when i see gray her lol its just something i remember from when i was a child and try to teach my kids

Jordanplustwo

on Jan 22, 2009 at 11:17 AM

I was raised to do that, even with my friend's parents, call them Mrs or Mr (insert last name here) I never called anyone with a position higher then myself by a first name until i worked at my SECOND job.