Mom Refuses To Let 14-Year-Old Be in School Play Because She 'Needs' To Babysit But Dad Disagrees

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There are plenty of us who have more than one child and are frankly excited for the day they can trust the eldest to look after our youngest. As we know and trust our oldest, the hassle of having to find a babysitter we know and trust is removed. However, most of us try to remember not to take advantage of it. 

Unless of course you're this mom on Reddit, who relies on her daughter to watch after her younger sibling every day after school, making her miss out on extracurricular activities. 

  • The mom began explaining that her 14-year-old daughter she called "Molly" asked her if they could sit down and chat. 

    "She said that she still feels left out about missing last year’s school play, so she wants my permission to participate in the play for next year, now that the year is less than a month away," she wrote. "I told her about last year where I had pulled her out of the play because even though she got the part she wanted, she had to watch her brother(9M) and sister(10F) after scheduling issues."

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  • The mom, who works until 5:30 p.m., needs her daughter to watch her younger siblings during the afternoon, which cut into rehearsal hours. 

    Molly fought back a little. 

    "She told me they're both turning 10 and 11, and they're well past the age where they can start looking after themselves," she added. "Molly also pointed out she started looking after herself since she was 8 whenever I went to work (which is true)."

  • When the mom stood her ground and said no, her daughter fought back. 

    "Here's the following conversation we had:

    Molly: 'Why is it because I'm the oldest, I'm the one left with those two?! Mom, they’re 9 and 10, almost 10 and 11. I shouldn't have to be looking after them anymore. They should be able to make a sandwich or something then behave around the house. I don't want to miss ANOTHER school play because of that!!'

    Me: 'They already shown not to be responsible.'

    Molly: 'So teach them!! Make a checklist. Check in which them every half hour or something. They're old enough, mom. I'm tired of being a babysitter. They sit around and watch TV anyway, so what's the point of being home early?'"

  • Frustrated, the mom sent her to her room and only allowed her to come out when her father came home from work. 

    "She's locked herself in and doesn't want to talk to anyone. My husband noticed she wasn't greeting him at the door right away. When he asked, I told him what happened, and he took her side," the mom claimed.

    "My husband says it isn't Molly's fault the little ones 'can't keep track of their [expletive] heads if they weren't attached,' and that we should teach them how to look after themselves and set ground rules," she wrote. "I disagreed. My husband went to talk to Molly, now that she allowed him in."

    So the mom wants to know: Does her daughter have a point?

  • Redditors were quick to "check" the mom and put her in her place. 

    "Your oldest child is not a free babysitter," wrote one user. "Stop taking away their chances in life. It is not her fault your other children are not responsible enough. That I'm afraid is down to you."

  • Others reminded her that this wasn't in fact her oldest daughter's responsibility. 

    "She is not responsible for them," quipped another user. "YOU decided to have more children. YOU are responsible for them. She should not be punished for your decisions. She is a teenager, a soon to be young adult, she is allowed to have her own dreams and hobbies. You are making her babysit, sacrificing her own time It's a job, are you paying her for this job?"

  • Others warned her she is putting her relationship with her daughter at risk.

    "You chose to have those kids, not her," reminded another reader. "They're your responsibility to raise. Not hers. If you keep treating your daughter like this, she will resent you and you're going to destroy that relationship. And she'd be right to cut you out like the cancer you're becoming."