photo by stacyslaughter
I'm soooo glad jll1484 posted this question. She wants to know if she has to invite her son's entire class (and daycare center class, good grief!) to his birthday party. It's a tough one for sure. Come birthday time, you may feel like you want to be all PC about things and not offend anyone, but then again, who has the space/time/energy/cash to host a mini-brigade?!
Just last weekend, my kindergarten son's class had a first official playdate in the park. The idea was that all of us moms (and dads) would get to know each other and give the kids some outside-of-school time to bond. Well, it rained! Don't you know a brave mother invited us all over to her house on the fly? I was very, very impressed by her generosity, we each brought over a little something to snack on, and to my estimation in the end it turned out great. (Except, of course, I wasn't there for the clean up.) Now, would I invite the whole class over for a party? Don't know. Would you?
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Comments 128
I've heard that many schools require this now. That if you're going to pass out birthday party invites at school you must invite the entire class. SCREW THAT! The school board going to help me pay for hosting such a large event? Nope.
Last year when my daughter turned 6 I did invite her entire kindergarten class - 20+ kids. I kept it pretty simple though. I used the gym at our church (she goes to our church school). I served snacks and a cake. I made up the games and activities myself. The kids loved it and it didn't cost too much. I was exhausted at the end though. Apparently my daughter really liked it because she wants to do the same thing this year!
I did let my oldest invite the whole class this year. But unlike most children she is in a class of 8. Last year my other daughter was in pre k and wanted to invite everyone. I also worked at the school so it was a difficult situation. We compromised and let her invite just the girls so there were 9, not so bad.
I would do it - it can be someting really simple and it sure would mean a lot to the kids who never get invited to things.
I did it. It's asked that if you are inviting through the classroom that you include the whole class. I sent invites to 21 kids. We had it set up for a state park. 3 kids showed up. So even though you invite the whole class, doesn't mean everyone will or can come.
For the past 2 yrs (this is the 3rd), I've had parties for my 2 boys, now 8 & going on 11 and we invite their entire classes (there are about 30 kids in each). My youngest's b-day 's in Oct. so we always have a costume party and the other's is Dec. 26th & usually have his party in Jan. or Feb. Usually, only about half the kids show up. My youngest's teacher said they could either invite all of the boys or all of the girls or the entire class.
I agree with the policy that if you want to pass out invitations at school you need to invite the whole class.
I'll admit, we only invited the whole class once; that was enough to teach us that it really isn't a great idea. Having 24 overstimulated 5-year-olds running around our house and yard wasn't as much fun as we thought.
After that, we talked to our kids about it and they agreed that it's much more fun to have a small gathering of their closest friends so they can spend quality time having fun with people they enjoy. Also, parents can spend more time on activities when they don't have to serve food to so many kids.
My experience with inviting the whole class was not so great. There were some who did not come, many who did not RSVP, and then there were the parents who brought the classmate AND 1 or 2 siblings (without calling and asking me if its OK.) There was even a parent who brought older cousins of the classmate, and left them for me to supervise / try to entertain. They were too old for the party games, and got bored and then wanted to wrestle & fight. They became a danger for the invited guests.
Since that fiasco, I have gone a little too far the other way. I gave my son a swimming pool party at a health club, and had to limit the number of guests to 8, due to cost. In doing this, we unintentionally hurt some friends' feelings.
It's really hard to find the perfect balance so that the children have fun and you don't lose your mind.
Our school says that if you are sending the invites to school, you must either invite the entire class or all the kids the same sex as your child. I think this is fair. If you only want to invite a few, you either have to call or mail the invites.