Co-Ed Play Dates: Fine or a No-No?

on January 3, 2009 at 10:13 PM

These two cuties are brother and sister.

Just thinking. Play dates are picking up around my house and I know that once we get back to school on Monday, I'm going to be hit with the "Can Giana and I have a play date?" question. Both my son and Giana ask me this about once a week. They are only in kindergarten, so for now I manage to blow them off with slight distractions. But the truth is, I just don't know if a co-ed play date is okay.

Giana really digs my boy. She waits for him to arrive every morning and she makes sure that they have the same "choice time" everyday. My son can be aloof; sometimes he notices her attention, sometimes not. (Oh, how I wish Giana would spread the love and focus on him a little less.) It's way too early to call what they have a crush, but it sure feels that way when I watch her watch my son with adoring eyes. It's innocent; it really is. For all I know, Giana's into him because they both love blocks, or painting or the color blue. Perhaps it has nothing at all to do with him being a gorgeous (if I do say so myself) little boy.

If she were to come over, what would they play with? His cars, animals and trains? I'm all for equality of the sexes, but what in the world does that look like at 5?

Has anyone else dealt with this co-ed play date dilemma with their youngish big kids? What do you say--yea or nay?

Filed Under: elementary school, friends

Comments (53)

girlymommy21

on Jan 4, 2009 at 12:14 AM

I dont see any problem with it.They're just kids.

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balagan_imma

on Jan 4, 2009 at 12:15 AM

My older son is 11. He still has play dates with friends who are girls. In fact, until recently, most of his friends were girls. For the most part they ride bikes, play cards or board games, play on our swing set. Most of his female friends have at least one brother and he has a younger sister who is one of his best friends. It did trouble us at first, but now he found more boys that are interested in the same things as he is and the girls are beginning to fade away .

PrincessZ20

on Jan 4, 2009 at 12:19 AM

Granted, my son is only almost two, but some of his best pals are girls! We have a playdate group with kids ranging from newborns to about 4 or 5, and both the older boys and girls play together just fine! Sometimes they play "girly" things like house, other times they play "manly" things like trucks and trains. I'm all for letting my son play with girls when he's older...

lrj42685

on Jan 4, 2009 at 12:32 AM

see I have three brothers and I had more boy friends than anyone else bc well i "got" boys. Not to say I want girly i have all the american girl dolls and a huge doll house. I just loved my boy friends so i wouldnt have a problem with it. In fact i wouldnt be a bit surprised if my dd feels the same way she only has uncles and boy cousins

ddmac314

on Jan 4, 2009 at 12:41 AM

My best friend growing up was a boy who lived down the street. We rode our bikes to the park, played football in his backyard, watched tv. Nothing wrong with it!!!

Aniyunwiya

I don't see anything wrong with it at all, I mean as long as they are watched (and this applies for any age) and safe, who cares if they are opposite genders. She may have a crush on him (i did on a boy at 5) but i HIGHLY doubt anything will come from it.

NewMum2007

on Jan 4, 2009 at 1:00 AM

Our 4 year old boy is very attached to girls, luckily he always finds some that feel the same. Don't worry about the toy selection at your house, kids don't really care that much at young ages about 'girl' toys or 'boy' toys.

RanaAurora

on Jan 4, 2009 at 1:15 AM

My four year old's son playmate is a girl. I've never even considered anything wrong with it, or controversial. They're small children. They're not aware there's any possibility of issues between them based on gender, and I'd prefer to assume there won't be until they're much older.

mum2gr8byz

on Jan 4, 2009 at 1:47 AM

I don't think there is ANYTHING wrong with co-ed playdates. I had playdates with my besst friend Matt when we were kids and we maintained a friendship all throughout our lives :) He walked my mom down the aisle at my wedding and is the Godfather to my oldest son.

We never dated! We have always loved each other as family.

My sons are in a playgroup which is co-ed and attend a lot of co-ed playdates. Typically the boys end up playing together and the girls end up playing together, but occassionally they mix. I think it is good for kids to learn how to interact and cooperate with both genders. It's all innocent at such a young age.