11 Hilariously Honest Kids' Letters to Santa That Play No Games

Tanvier Peart | Nov 30, 2016 Big Kid
11 Hilariously Honest Kids' Letters to Santa That Play No Games
Image: iStock.com/maurusone

shocked santa reading letters
iStock.com/maurusone

One thing we've gotta love (and sometimes loathe) about kids is how freaking honest they are. Most children don't really care what they say or how it comes across, which certainly gives new meaning to the term "keeping it real." Even though these laughable and sometimes embarrassing moments don't happen all the time, parents can expect their kids to not mince their words once the holidays roll around -- and they want their gifts under the Christmas tree faster than we can sing "Jingle Bells."

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Writing letters to Santa is a time-honored tradition that should be held with reverence ... is something that someone without kids would say. But those of us who have a little brood of our own know better than to expect any letters to Santa that would make a charming keepsake. And though we might not remember how we acted in the presence of Santa Claus when we were young, at least we can re-live our youth through these hysterically funny letters kids wrote to Saint Nick. Take, for instance, the letter to Santa that is full of demands, or perhaps the letter asking Santa to bring his aunt a boyfriend. Hilarious. 

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Read through to see these funny letters that real kids wrote to Santa. 'Tis the season to laugh our a** off.

  • On a Scale of 'Relly Like' to 'Bad Idea'

    1

    Should Saint Nick need a little help choosing the right gifts for children, he might want to start requesting wish lists that rate Christmas presents like Cooper's here. In case you can't tell, little Coop "relly" likes Pokemon and Nerf, likes the games Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots and Apples to Apples, but can do without underwear. "Bad idea," Santa. This letter needs to win some award.

  • No Duplicate Gifts, Please

    2

    "I promise to be nice, but if I get one or two [presents] for my b-day, try to get me the ones that I did not get for my b-day." LOL! Santa might want to double check to see what this kid got for her birthday, because she obviously will not accept duplicate presents -- of any kind.

  • Aunty Needs a Man

    3

    Remember how we said kids can be a little too honest? Yeah, this letter to Santa Claus is a great example, haha. At least this little girl is being considerate of the needs of others -- like her aunty, who would love to have a boyfriend for Christmas. Who knows, maybe she'll find one under her tree. 

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  • "Keep Your Paws Off My Cheesecake"

    4

    "Dear Santa, the carrots are for your reindeer and biggest one is for Rudolph. The cookies are for you, and the strawberries milk is all for you -- and there's eggnog in the fridge. Help yourself, butt keep your paws off my cheesecake."

    HAHAHA. Did you get all of that, Santa? No cheesecake for you.

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  • 'Don't Give Her Enny Presonts'

    5

    Parents, don't think your kiddos aren't paying attention to your behavior. They know when you've been naughty and nice. This girl's letter to Santa, advising him not to give her mother any presents, proves just that. "... My Mam has been verry [naughty], so don't give her enny presents."

    If Mom gets coal for Christmas maybe she can turn it into a beauty mark. Just a thought.

  • Flattery Will Get You Everywhere

    6

    Did you see what Patrick did? He started his letter with something pleasant ("Merry Christmas"), offered a beverage, and then hit Santa with his list of expensive wants before paying Saint Nick a compliment. "You are not as chubby as people say you are -- or as old. So please get me those gifts."

    How can you say no?

  • Proof of Existence

    7

    We don't know if little Ry attached a Christmas wish list to this Santa letter, but still, it's pretty funny. "I left my iPad iPad? My code is 1018." Whoever is acting as Santa in Ry's house might want to be careful. This kid might have surveillance set up around his home to prove he exists. Don't get caught.

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  • Leave the 'Dressing Gown' at the North Pole

    8

    There's nothing wrong with telling Santa what you don't want for Christmas, righht? Obviously, this 10-year-old doesn't seem to think so as he seriously does not want to receive a damn robe for the holidays. "I know I haven't been a star this year, but I never am, so please don't give me a dressing gown. Please ..." Let's hope he doesn't get one!

  • There's No Such Thing as Too Many Gifts ... Right?

    9

    We keep telling our children that sky's the limit, so it is really that surprising when a child makes a lengthy request for Christmas presents? Even though we don't know everything Jaclyn asked for, we have 39 guesses to get it right. "All I want is a few things, but they might not be a few things to you. Is 39 things to[o] much?" Lol. Maybe, Jaclyn, just maybe.

  • Not Checkers, I Hate Checkers

    10

    This sweet little one will be happy if Santa brings her a Monster High Doll, a Hatchimal pack, and a game. But not just any game, mind you. A game, just so long as it is NOT Checkers. She has some really strong feelings about Checkers. 

  • "I Am Sorry for the Things I Have Done"

    11

    How can you not feel for this girl who admits she hasn't always done everything perfectly but hopes she can be in Santa's good graces? "I know I have done some things but I am so sorry if you could forgive me that would be great and I will be a good girl I promise." Aww. Give little Christine some presents, Santa! 

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