14 Hilarious Excuses Kids Give to Avoid Homework

Wendy Robinson | Sep 17, 2015 Big Kid

child with homework

Ah, fall... that magical time of year when the leaves start changing, everything starts tasting like pumpkin, and, at least in my house, the wailing and crying over homework begins.

My son is only in second grade but he's already developed strong feelings about homework. Well, one strong feeling: hate. He's really bright, but he can't stand to sit down to tackle a few workbook pages when there are toys to be played with and soccer balls to be kicked.

While the homework itself only takes him 10 to 15 minutes, he's been known to spend 45 excruciating minutes stalling and making up excuses about why homework isn't fair before getting to work.

Sound familiar? I asked some other moms if home work avoidance was an issue at their house and discovered I am so not alone. Here's how other kids hilariously try to get out of homework time.

#7 is my personal favorite. What's yours?

Image © iStock.com/Tetyana Rusanova

  • It's Too Quiet


    "My daughter is super distractable so we have a no cellphones, no tablets, no music policy when it comes to homework. This, of course, leads to lots of complaints about it being 'too quiet' and that 'ugh, MOM, my brain can't think if I'm worried about missing a text.' I know; I'm a monster, right?" -- Allie H., Orem, Utah

  • Every Pencil Is Broken


    "My son's first grade teacher wants all homework done in pencil. So my little sneak of a kid decided that if he BROKE ALL HIS PENCILS, he'd get out of doing homework. Nope. Not only did he lose his allowance for the week (breaking stuff on purpose isn't cool, kid.) but he found out about my giant desk stash of pencils. You lose, kid." -- Nancy T., Cleveland, Ohio

  • I'm Still Snacking


    "Our family rule is that you can have a snack before you have to start homework. I noticed that the kids were always asking for popcorn for a snack. I asked my daughter why she always wanted popcorn and she said 'Duh, because it takes the longest to eat'. So, yeah, now we have snack WHILE we are doing homework." -- Larissa F., Glendale, California

  • It's Optional


    "My daughter tried to convince me that doing homework was 'just a suggestion' and not actually required. Nice try." -- Katie V., Saint Paul, Minnesota

    More from The Stir: School Homework for Young Kids Shouldn't be a Giant Drag

  • WWJD?


    "With six kids, I've heard every excuse in the book. But my personal favorite is 'Mom, I want to be more like Jesus and I don't think he had to do homework'. My husband, a pastor, about fell over laughing." -- Chrissy L., Apex, North Carolina

  • I 'Forgot'


    "At my son's school, they give homework packets on Fridays, and they're due on Wednesdays. My son hated having to do homework on the weekend so he started to 'accidentally' forget his backpack on Fridays because he thought that would get him out of it. Little did he know that I'd email his teacher and that the custodian would totally let me into school on Saturday morning to pick it up." -- Tara M., Edina, Minnesota

  • Homework Makes Me Fart


    "'I can't do homework. It makes me toot.' Yes. My daughter thought that was a valid excuse. And when she tried to prove it, she accidentally pooped her pants. So. Being a parent is super glamorous." -- Laura B., Kentwood, Louisiana


  • I Gotta Run


    "It wasn't so much an excuse, but a bolt! I told my son it was time to do homework, went to get his backpack and came back to find he was gone. I found the back door open but he wasn't in our yard. I eventually found him hiding in our neighbor's yard. By the way, his homework was a one-page coloring sheet. He's in pre-K. I'm not excited about the next 12 years." -- Marissa G., Springfield, Missouri

    More from The Stir: Schools That Give Preschoolers Homework Deserve a Big Fat "F"

  • It Makes My Heart Sad


    "'Mom, I can't do homework. It makes my heart too sad.'" -- Jackie B., Altoona, Iowa

  • I've Got Soccer on the Brain


    "'I can't focus on this stuff! It's too boring! All my brain wants to do is think about soccer!'" -- Renee H., Tucson, Arizona

  • I'm Super Duper Thirsty


    "Oh my God. My kid drives me nuts with the excuses and the stalling when it comes to homework. What should take 20 minutes max can take us over an hour. His latest move is to say he needs a drink and then to gulp water down so that 10 minutes later he says he needs to pee. I can't call his bluff because he's the kid who would totally pee on the floor to prove me wrong. It's a battle of wills, and I think I'm losing!" -- Stacie N., Wheaton, Illinois

  • Shh... I'm Napping


    "Tucker stopped taking naps when he was two but for some reason he thinks I'll fall for it when he fake naps to try to get out of homework. Nope. Mama ain't buying it unless I hear snoring and see drool!" -- Lisa A., Rice Lake, Wisconsin

    More from The Stir: 10 Reasons Homework Sucks

  • I've Got to... Uh... Poop


    "My daughter was just starting her homework when she said she needed to poop. I let her go and then started working on dinner. After about 20 minutes I realized she hadn't come back. Turns out she'd snuck the tablet into the bathroom and was happily watching videos on the toilet when she should have been doing her math worksheet." -- Pattie D., Albert Lea, Minnesota

  • My Room's a Mess


    "My son said he needed to clean his room so he could better concentrate on his homework. I should have known that was too good to be true. Apparently 'clean my room' is code for 'pull out all my building toys and make an elaborate superhero hideout.'" -- Vanessa L., Boulder, Colorado