18 Funny Questions Kids Have Asked About God

little girl asking questions

We all know kids say the most ridiculous things. Whether they're making pointed observations or are curious about the world around them, they always manage to come up with questions that inevitably stump us. But their questions about God continue to puzzle us above all else ... and often leave us laughing.


Currently 84 percent of adults claim a religious affiliation -- and it makes sense that their kids are of the same affiliation. But even if you're among the 16 percent who don't practice any sort of organized religion, your kids are bound to interact with those who do. And at one point or another, most kids will have a question or two about God -- no matter your own beliefs.

Their curiosities will be piqued and you'll get a stunner. That's why we asked moms about the funniest questions their kids asked about God, and prepare to LOL as you imagine coming up with a proper answer. Take a look at these inquiries:

  1. "Why did God make mosquitoes? All they do is bite you? Why would he do that?!"
  2. "Why does God stay in heaven and not come down to earth to visit?"
  3. "I think my 4-year-old son got confused when we told him that God watches over us. He said 'Wait, so God is Santa Claus?'"
  4. "Did Jesus get potty trained as fast as me?"
  5. "How did Jesus even rise from the grave? Did he punch out of his grave and say, 'This isn’t the last of Jesus!'?"
  6. "Is Jesus a zombie?"
  7. "Can God read our minds?"
  8. "Is Santa God's really rich brother?'
  9. "'Mommy, is that God?' referring to the priest marrying my sister-in-law and her husband."
  10. "When my son was about 4 or 5, and it started to rain while we were walking back from the park he asked me if it was God peeing on us."

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  11. "If God saw that it was not good for Adam to be alone... how come He never made himself a wife?"
  12. "If God sees everything, does he watch us in the shower?"
  13. "I teach preschool Sunday school and ... I talked about Jesus as the Good Shepherd and how He will leave 99 sheep to find one lost one. One little boy piped up, 'Did Jesus live in a zoo?'"
  14. "Why does he have horns? Does he headbutt the other gods?"
  15. "So was he a vampire?"
  16. "When my oldest was about 3, we found a baby bird in the yard that had fallen from its nest. When I went to check on it the next morning, it had died. When I took the kids out to play, I discreetly scooped him up, put him in a bag and in the trash. When we came in, my son said, 'Mama, what happened to that baby bird?' Trying to skirt the issue, I said, 'Oh, you don't have to worry about that baby bird, he lives with Jesus now.' He looked at my thoughtfully for a few moments and said, 'Jesus lives in the trash?'"
  17. "Did Jesus practice walking on water first? How can I do it?"
  18. "If Jesus doesn't have a sister, why do I need to have one?"

Have your kids asked about God? What did they want to know?


Image via Ollyy/shutterstock

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