18 Wildest Whoppers Kids Have Ever Told Their Parents

little girl crossing her fingersForget "the dog ate my homework" or "I didn't do it." Today's kids have gotten much more creative with their lies. Whether they say it to their teacher, or look you straight in the eyes and insist it's true, the most far-fetched fibs are the ones we remember most.

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We asked parents about the most outlandish lies their kids have ever told, and honestly, we're shocked you didn't believe them.

Some of these are pure gold:

  1. "My child said the guinea pig got the ice cream out of the freezer and ate it in the middle of the night."
  2. "My son, at 7, didn't want to brush his teeth. He swore he'd brushed them, and I checked the toothbrush and it was dry. He told me, 'I dried it.'"

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  3. "My almost 2-year-old colored on the dining room walls. I asked him what he did and without hesitation he said 'Sissy did it!' ... with the marker still in his hand. My daughter wasn't even home. I couldn't help but laugh!"
  4. "I was getting ready to frost the cake I had baked for my 3-year-old's birthday party, and I got distracted for a second. I went back into the kitchen and noticed the frosting was gone... found it sitting under the table opened and it had obviously been dug into. Found the culprit (the 3-year-old) and asked him who got into the frosting. With frosting all over his hands and face, he tells me, 'Chuckie and Annabelle!'"
  5. "He told the principal aliens had went in his room in the middle of the night and had taken his weekly planner. Then the principal asked him if he could verify this with me, he told them I was an alien and I would lie about it."
  6. "My then 3-year-old daughter had beautiful long, curly hair. She kept asking if she could have her head shaved bald so that she could look like a turtle. One day she came to me with a clump of curly hair in her hand and said it fell off and she didn't know how. In her other hand was a pair of scissors."
  7. "My 14-year-old daughter told me she had her period for over a year right after her older sister got hers. For an entire year, I bought this kid supplies and she kept asking for different ones, giving me explanations that made sense. When her next birthday came around, she admitted that she'd been lying for the year and was just jealous of the attention her older sister got. Within a week of revealing her lie, it showed up for her."
  8. "When my daughter was being potty trained, I kept thinking she was dry and was praising her. One day, for whatever reason, her brother told me that she was lying and led me to her closet where -- in the very back -- was a purse stuffed full of wet panties."
  9. "[My daughter] went into the bathroom after being told it was time to shower. I heard the water turn on, then turn off. She came out and said, 'I'm done.' She was still in the same clothes, and her hair and skin were bone dry."

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  10. "When my daughter was 3, she told her teacher that she had a brother and sister who were twins but I had sold them on eBay for one hundred thousand million dollars. They were named Presley and Isaiah and were beautiful babies, but I hated changing diapers so I sold them."
  11. "At age 3, my daughter was quiet for too long (scary for all parents) and when I found her in the closet -- with a large amount of empty gum wrappers all around her -- I asked her if she chewed all that gum. She emphatically shook her head 'no' due to the fact that her cheeks were completely stuffed with gum."
  12. "When my daughter was about 3, I walked out of the room to do something and came back to find a chunk of hair missing from her head as well as wisps of dark hair from her Dora the Explorer doll all over the floor. When I asked her what had happened, she looked me square in the eye and informed me that 'Dora had cut her hair.'"
  13. "My daughter was 8 when we came home from the hospital with my son Bryce. We found out she wrote on the wall, 'welcome home Bryce.' We asked her who wrote it, and she said the kids who lived in the house before us."
  14. "My son had a number two accident in his undies, and he told me his cousin took them off him, did it, and then put them back on him."
  15. "My youngest son somehow broke a window in our van. He said George Burns did it!"
  16. "My daughter tried convincing me that the tooth fairy who visited her class told the kids they would receive $5 per tooth. She then went on the explain the difference between a $1 and a $5 dollar bill. Turns out, the tooth fairy didn't mention anything about money."
  17. "My sister M. took my son to the pool during our theme park vacation. The next day, while she was out for a jog, my son told me he didn't want to go in the pool anymore. He told me that while he and Aunt M. were swimming, a little girl was making fun of him for wearing a swim vest. He started to cry and told me how she pointed at him and made him feel really bad. I asked him what Aunt M. said to do, and he told me that she said to just ignore her and keep having fun. He seemed really shaken up by it all, but when I asked my sister about it later, she had no idea what he was talking about and said none of it ever happened!"
  18. And finally, this is why the wires were tangled, we swear!

What's the funniest lie your child has ever told?

 

Image via Arvydas Kniuksta/shutterstock

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