12 Mortifying Playdates & the Moms Who Survived Them

kids fighting

Ah, playdates: One moment, everything is fine; the next, you find yourself up to your ears in some snafu that's so horrifying, you pray you'll never run into the other kid's parent again! To let you know you're not alone in this particular type of damage control, check out these stories from moms on their most mortifying play date horror stories ever.

  1. The Force Is With Them
    "I caught my son, at 6, with his best friend using their penises as light sabers in my yard by the pool. They're both Star Wars geeks, and had taken off their wet bathing suits and were trying to 'cross swords.' Yeah, having to tell another mom that happened was pretty rough; she is very prim and proper, so it didn't go over great."
  2. Accidents Happen
    "We went to a playdate at a bouncy house place. My daughter was 4 and was having so much fun she decided she could not be bothered to leave the bounce house for potty business. So instead, she pulled her pants down and went poop at the bottom of a slide. Then ... another kid slid into the mess... Luckily the mom of the boy who'd slid into it wasn't fazed; she had four kids so I'm assuming poop just happened at her house." 
  3. Hi-YAH!
    "My 4-year-old daughter decided to reenact something she saw on America's Funniest Home Videos, and full-on karate kicked her cousin in the crotch. Poor boy spent the next few hours on the couch with an ice pack."
  4. Monkey Business
    "My son and his best friend were playing on the monkey bars on the playground after school; I was supervising their playdate. They were getting a little rough and my son's friend, fell off the monkey bars, started screaming and crying. I looked and his elbow was almost popping out of his skin! I acted fast, kept him still and had the ambulance there in less than six minutes. He had surgery and has had a complete recovery, but man, this was a scary one!"
  5. Yummy Bunnies
    "My boys were raised in the country, and we lived briefly 'in town' when they were 5 and 6. Where we lived it wasn't unheard of to eat rabbit. So, we were living in town, the boys were invited over to play with a friend who'd just gotten a pet rabbit for his birthday. My boys started squeezing it and told the little boy, 'These things are GREAT with teriyaki or BBQ sauce!' Kid freaked, mom un-invited us after asking what exactly we were teaching our kids and what the heck kind of parents were we? Lesson learned: brief the boys on 'town-isms'!"

    More from The Stir: 10 Things Never to Do on a Play Date

  6. Care to Share?
    "We were at a public play date at the Y, little kids running everywhere. My older one was happily playing and I nursed the baby. She finished and while I was closing up shop, a 2-year-old came up to my side. Before I could even smile at him, he tried to reach in and grab a snack! His mom came running up and apologized. She was almost in tears. She was trying to wean him and he wasn't happy about it. She apologized over and over and made a hasty exit. I was speechless for a good 15 minutes."
  7. Pee Break Gone Wrong
    "One time while on a play date my son asked to go pee. After I said yes, he peed on their carpeted steps!"
  8. Good Reason To Monitor What They See on TV
    "I took my 9-year-old daughter, my 6-year-old son, and his friend to the movies. On the way to the movie theater, I heard my son's friend say, 'If you have a healthy heart, you can have healthy sex with Viagra.' Then all the children started saying it. Of course they had NO IDEA what they were saying, but I thought I might drive my car right off the road! I asked him where he heard that and he said, 'at home…. on the commercials on TV.'"
  9. Pucker Up
    "At 3 years old, one of my twin boys kissed another boy on the mouth. The mother laughed, but I was soooo embarrassed. It was an innocent act, but still."
  10. Psychopath Alert
    "My daughter had a playdate with a pal who I'm always happy to have over for the simple fact that they quite literally never fight. So, their playdates require no parental intervention aside from the occasional head poked 'round the door to see if anyone wants something to eat. Yet one time, when I checked in on them in the kitchen, I was horrified to find dolls in pots of water: they were drowning dolls! NAKED dolls! Psychopaths in the making? Before I got myself into a full-blown tizzy and started calling kiddie shrinks, I decided to ask them what the heck they thought they were doing. The answer? They were having a pool party. As for the naked dolls, well, they didn’t want to get their clothes wet, but the doll clothes bin doesn’t have any bathing suits in it. And there you have it. Simple, innocent explanation for a scene that was rather gruesome at first glance."
  11. Artistic License
    "I regularly took my 3-year-old son to a friend's house where he plays with her 4-year-old, and on this particular day my friend mentioned how she was going to hang this canvas painting she had painted herself. But it turns out my son, at some point, had scribbled all over it in dark pen -- I recognized his big O shapes with lines through it. It completely ruined her work, and she could no longer hang it. Thankfully she laughed, but I've never been so ashamed."

    More From The Stir: 8 Weirdest Playdate Demands Parents Have Made

  12. Clothing Optional?
    "When my son was almost 3, I met up with a friend at a big indoor play area. So my friend and I were standing there talking and waiting to see our kids come down the slide. After a minute my son came down ... naked. I. Was. Mortified. He took off running and I had to chase after this naked child who was laughing like a maniac."

What's your most mortifying playdate horror story?


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