Co-Sleeping With Big Kids: Part 2

I have co-slept with my last 4 babies until they were around 1 yr. old. I was breastfeeding them, and it just made sense and was easier than getting up to feed the baby. We all got a lot more sleep that way. Once they hit that 1 yr. mark, however, I didn't feel anyone was benefiting from co-sleeping. Baby would wake up just to use me as a human pacifier, and I wasn't getting as much sleep as I needed because of it. I do not feel it's necessary for a child past 1 yr. to be breastfeeding at night, so at that point, they were transitioned to a crib in a room with an older sibling. As for sleeping with older children, that just doesn't happen. We have 7 kids and a queen size bed, so no need to say more! If other parents enjoy having their older kids sleeping with them, that their business. It's just not for us. I like to sleep without getting poked in the ribs and kicked in the back, so having the kids in their own beds is the way to go for us. My kids don't seem to mind sleeping in their own beds at all. They do not need to sleep in my bed to feel secure. They know where to find us at night if they need something, and they know that we will take care of their needs.

I think it's fine as long as you and your husband have agreed on it and our comfortable doing it, other wise it's not harmful to let your baby sleep in his or her own bed, if you don't mind having your child in there for the next four of five years then go for it, but even children need space. I think it's good for some and not for others, it's a peronal choice. Children are amazing and we do everything we can to protect them  and  they become a part of your life a huge part but they should not take over your life, for example if you and your husband have not had an hour or two of alone time or sex in two years it's time to change something lol.

We let out kids come in if they had a bad dream, etc., until this year.  They are 11, 8, and 6.  We would wake up in our king size bed with 5 people in it at least 4 nights a week.  There just wasn't room, and I started waking up with numb arms becuase I couldn't turn over in the night. They didn't wake me, just crawled in, but my mind knew they were there, and I wasn't sleeping well.

We started locking the door.  NOw, if they have a bad dream, they can wake me up and I'll walk them back to their bed and tuck them back in.  If they are sick, I'll get up with them.  But the family bed had to go.

I felt bad at first.  Now, I'm so relieved.  They are actually starting to sleep through the night again.  They didn't really need me that much - they were in a bad habit.

I love co-sleeping with my toddler and my 2 month old.  It's a great bonding experience and sometimes it's the only time I have quiet cuddles and kisses with my son-who is growing up way too fast!  My toddler goes to sleep in his own bed at night and when DH gets up to get ready for work in the mornings my toddler wakes up as well and climbs in bed with me.  Usually we'll just cuddle and watch a video or talk but it's nice to have those few hours in the morning with my sweet little boy before he decides it's time to be a monster and demand his breakfast : )

I wanted to add that my 2 month is only in bed with me about an hour before we wake up so he can nurse.  He's finally started sleeping all night in his basinet so I just leave him be.  My bed is empty until about 5 am but I used to sleep with my toddler all night until we all decided he needed his own bed. 

what about those parents that accidentally smother their kids to death when there infant is sleeping with them.  i have co slept with two of my children but, now i worry if my husband or i would smother them while we are sleeping.

It is fun, and it makes the kids feel safe, another thing is that it is much much harder for the kids to sneak off while everyone is sleeping and sneak a cookie from the jar, its much easier to get them to sleep in when you are extra tired, and you don't have to stub your toe trying to make it to thier room when they have a nightmare. Oh, and I must also note the significant reduction in nightmares.

There are things called a co-sleeper that goes on your bed between you and your husband. My son slept on one until he was too big for it. It keeps that barrier for you, but still allows your baby to get all the benifits of human touch through the night. It has soft sides, so you can rest your arm on it and rub or hold your baby while he sleeps.

I co-slept with both mine when they were babies and enjoyed it.  Now they are almost 4 and 5 1/2 and its not so enjoyable.  We had a family crisis last summer and they both started sleeping with us again.  We allowed it for months because of said crisis.  In November we went on a family vacation and they slept in their own beds-never once waking to come in with us.  So when we got home, I explained the new rule:  no one in Mom and Dad's bed except Mom and Dad.  The question came up of "what do we do if we get scared?"  to which we decided they could come into our room and say Mom I'm scared and I would go lay down with them for a few minutes in their own bed and we'd cuddle there for awhile.  Its worked well.  My back and neck are thanking me (my kids can't sleep with me without having to touch and I could never roll over).  The kids are actually sleeping better and my youngest is sleeping in longer because big sis isn't right next to him to wake him up.  This is what works for us as a family.  If you want to co sleep with your bigger kids, by all means do it.  But I just wake up tired and crabby from the lack of sleep and its not good for us.