15 Things Kids Should Never Be Allowed to Do in the Grocery Store (PHOTOS)

Linda Sharps | Oct 7, 2014 Big Kid

girl upside down in a grocery store shopping cart

I don't normally like to say what parents should and shouldn't do, because we're all different and what works for me may not work for you and special unique snowflake circumstances and blah blah blah, don't be a sanctimonious jerkface, etc. However! I do occasionally make some lighthearted exceptions, which I will detail for you shortly.

Basically, there's a personal code of conduct every parent should be expected to adhere to when they're in the grocery store. We all know that grocery shopping while simultaneously caring for small children is about as fun as having a root canal while listening to Rebecca Black's "Friday" on repeat, but that's no excuse for allowing your child to do the following.


Image via onelove82/Instagram

  • Ride face down, bottom up in the grocery cart.


    Image via onelove82/Instagram

    Dude, you're just asking for an emergency dental appointment. Plus, do you have any idea how gross the bottom of a grocery cart probably is? I'm picturing a bacterial house party covering every square centimeter of that metal mesh.

  • Gnaw the produce.


    Image via mainly_ira/Instagram

    You have to pay for that based on weight, you know! It's not fair if your kid devours half a head of lettuce before you even get to the checkout line -- or have time to wash it, for that matter.

  • Sprawl out on the floor.


    Image via leannebarlow/Instagram

    Boneless tantrums are the worst, but so's that floor. He's totally going to have a piece of dried-out gum stuck to his forehead when he gets up.

  • Carry out dual performances of "Youuuuuuu can't maaaaaaaake me!"


    Image via katiepetersphoto/Instagram

    What is even happening here, children! Get up before some cranky nearsighted person flattens you under their grocery cart!

  • Scream loud enough to shatter the display glass.


    Image via mrstmpate/Instagram

    Oh, I feel for this mom. We've all been there. This is when you abandon your full cart of groceries and make a hasty retreat, because things have gone sideways and there's no path to redemption.

  • Ride in the bottom of the cart.


    Image via damn69chev/Instagram

    Um, that is not a designated child-safe riding area. Also everyone puts their cat litter down there.

  • Pose your child on a precarious stack of sugar.


    Image via tha1anolnlycc/Instagram

    No. Just ... no.

  • Weigh your diapered child in the produce section.


    Image via jaglangham/Instagram

    I admit this is very cute, but I was about to put my apples on there, lady.

  • Seriously, is this some kind of Facebook trend?


    Image via danchamps/Instagram


  • Create an awkard makeshift naptime location.


    Image via ashleyreale/Instagram

    I guess this doesn't really impact me as a fellow shopper, but how are you going to put any groceries in there?

  • Use TWO of those awful car-shaped carts.


    Image via artematz/Instagram

    One is bad enough, and I speak from experience.

  • Send your child through the checkout conveyor belt.


    Image via jessmk22/Instagram

    I bet the clerk didn't think this was nearly as charming as the parent did.

  • Carry your kid in a grocery basket.


    Image via lylemonty/Instagram

    Again, cute, but hugely impractical and also maybe not all that sanitary?

  • Trap your child in the dairy case.


    Image via jimalpaugh/Instagram

    Tempting, I know, but come on -- someone's got to clean that glass!

  • Ignore the implied age limits.


    Image via cakinnvapin_dlsk/Instagram

    Hooboy. The phone is just the icing on the are-you-frickin-kidding-me-cake.


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