First Day of School Is Not a Holiday -- Stop Giving Your Kids Presents!


Why. Just WHY? Why is my Facebook feed suddenly flooded with pictures of kids and their back-to-school presents? What fresh hell is this? Who are these mothers giving their children gifts for trotting back to the classroom after a summer spent playing?

Heaven help me -- ain't nobody got time for that! Seriously, on top of all the new clothes, shoes, backpacks, and school supplies, we're now supposed to somehow come up with something called a Schultute? Apparently it's a German tradition involving a giant paper cone filled with treats for the first day of school. No. Just no.


Dear Pinterest Moms, the rest of us don't need another thing to spend valuable time, money, energy, or sanity on. Love, Frazzled Over-Worked Moms Everywhere. Amen.

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By the end of the summer, we are so ready for the kids to go back. We are at the end of our ropes, hanging by tenuous threads, hot and sweaty, and ready to get back into our normal routines. We barely make it through 87 million trips to Target to make sure we have everything our little darlings need, including the 14 boxes of tissues every kid has to bring in for some reason.

Why do they need so much tissue??

Halloween is just around the corner, and we're already trying to piece together costumes. Or we have every intention of running to Party City at 8 p.m. on October 30 and buying whatever they have left. Of course your 8-year-old wanted to be a Teletubby. Moms of 8-year-old Teletubbies do not have the patience for this Schultute nonsense.

We are only months away from hiding finding that damn elf every day. Or explaining to our kids why he keeps returning to the same spot on top of the bookshelf every day -- he likes it there, that's why. He can see everything. Stop climbing the bookcase!

Maybe it's jealousy that's keeping me from embracing this new tradition of giving your kids gifts on their first day back at school. But I'm going with sanity. Sorry kids, I guess I'll just have to slip 5 bucks into your therapy jars.

Do you give your kids back to school presents?


Image via keepcalmmommyon/Instagram

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