​Mom Fights Pool Ban on Little Boys Using Ladies' Bathroom

ladies restroom signFor 42-year-old mom of two Kim Thomas, having to worry about taking her son into a ladies' public bathroom with her had never been an issue ... until he turned 6 this past June. During a recent trip to their local pool, Thomas noticed a sign that read, "No Boys Allowed in Ladies Bathroom Over the Age of 5."

Thankfully, her son didn't have to use the facilities during that particular visit, but in a blog post on her site, ValleyStreamMom.com, titled, "What Do You Mean I Can't Take My Son Into the Bathroom With Me?" Thomas notes that "one day it will happen" because this is life -- moms take their sons in the ladies' room. And when it does, she's ready and willing to break the pool's rule, if it still stands.

Kim Thomas son sign pool

Kim Thomas isn't alone. Although many public places have begun taking strides toward offering family bathrooms, others -- like Thomas' pool -- seem to be moving in the complete opposite direction, leaving moms like Thomas to either fight, break, or begrudgingly obey rules like this. But, of course, none of those choices are appealing. And they only serve to make moms' lives harder.

What is a mom supposed to do with her little boy when she has to use the facilities? Leave him standing outside, with no supervision? And what about when a 6- or 7-year-old has to urinate? It's not easy sending a child that young into a men's room alone when you don't know who could be inside or what your child could do when they're out of sight.

The issue reverberates not only through Thomas' community, but others all over the country. Since writing her blog post, Thomas heard from other moms who shared similar experiences.

"One mom got permission from an employee to take her son into [our community's] pool bathroom," she explains to The Stir. "Another mom who has a special needs child made a very good point about how some kids need to be pushed along in the process, or they'll be in the bathroom all day. Some kids can fend for themselves, and some kids can't and need assistance in the bathroom. They should be able to go into either the men's or women's bathroom with a parent. They shouldn't have to go into the facilities alone, because of some sign."

More from The Stir: My 8-Year-Old Daughter Uses the Public Men's Room to Pee

It's a fight far too many moms are feeling they have to exert way too much energy for. After all, don't they know better than anyone about their son or daughter's needs, and what's most appropriate when it comes to bringing their child to the bathroom with them? As Thomas asks, "Why are we being told what we can and cannot do regarding the safety of our kids?"

"Every place that targets families, mothers with children should have at least one or two family bathrooms," Thomas says. Luckily, her public pool's current undergoing construction may make now the perfect time to start the conversation about adding a family bathroom. But if that conversation doesn't end well, Thomas says, "[My son] will be using the women's bathroom for a while. I'm not asking for permission. I'm not leaving it up to someone to tell me yes or no. There's no way someone's going to tell me where I can and can't take my child."

Can you blame her?

Do you think little boys belong in the ladies' bathroom? How old is too old?


Images via iStock.com/mrod & Kim Thomas

parenting news


To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

nonmember avatar stella

Unless the child is special needs, a 5 year old boy should use the bathroom himself. Mm can wait outside. I think a 6-7 year old is more than mature enough to be able to handle it.

luvmy... luvmybubs

Stella every child is different like it was pointed out above some may still need guidance while others would be perfectly fine. In the day in age we are in there are a lot of single parents out there and this is a hard issue both ways moms with sins and dad's with daughters. Even harder for dads because of urinals.

Einyn Einyn

I let my four and a half year old use the bathroom alone while I stand outside.

amazz... amazzonia

he is at a pool!!!!! if a 6 year old can't stand in a spot for 1 minut while mom pees he has really big problems!!!! and a 6 year old should be able to pee by himself!

amazz... amazzonia

Einyn, I do the same! it's ridiculous how some parents treat their children!

nonmember avatar Michael

With Stella and Einyn here. Barring special needs cases parents need to drop the Helicopter act. You can take a leak by yourself well before you are 6 and if you are that worried about it you should ask about #2 before you hit the pool.

the4m... the4mutts

A normally functioning child, with no special needs, should be able to pee by the time they're in school!! And also be able to stand in one spot to wait for mom/dad/whomever

I mean, at 6, they're in kinder, or 1st grade. What? Does mommy go to school for recess and help the widdle snowfwake make wee wee?

No. Make your damn kids grow up.

nonmember avatar stella

Amazzonia, I agree 100%. It's our job as parents to teach our kids how to do things themselves. Isn't that the whole point?

Anyways it's very strange to have a male kid who is old enough to understand things staring at you when you are in the ladies room!!

nonmember avatar MF

wow people, seriously...do you live in America today? Do you know how many creepy people frequent family places in order to get close to children, even if just to gawk at them? Do you know every child's mindset and how comfortable they are peeing in front of strangers or seeing strange men pee? How easy it is for a 6 yo to go off without thinking or to be enticed while mom is in the bathroom? You all are nuts.

nonmember avatar Shannon

With the world today I would not feel comfortable leaving my son to wait outside or go in to a restroom by himself. I will be bringing my son in with me until he is at least 8 or 9. Not that he wouldn't be able to handle going by himself, it is more of a saftey matter.

1-10 of 32 comments 1234 Last