An 8-Year-Old Explains '50 Shades of Grey' & the Kardashians

LOL 17

a little boy holding a camera
The other day I was looking at some weird photo of Lady Gaga in her typical WTF makeup when my oldest son came up behind me and peered at the laptop screen. "I don't even think that person is real," he said, frowning. "She's just made out of pointy things and ... like, feathers?"

It got me thinking that it would be funny to show him various images of pop culture topics and ask for his opinion on what they're all about. You know, the Kardashians, Fifty Shades of Grey, Beyonce -- what do these things mean to a kid who has no idea who or what they are?

Without further ado, here's how an 8-year-old explains ...

Justin Bieber:

"Hmmm. I think this guy does tattoos for a job. He looks like one of those kinds of teenagers, you know, like he just thinks he's so cool. But like ... *pauses, raises eyebrows meaningfully* he's really not."

That infamous elevator fight with Beyonce's sister and Jay Z:


"I think they were arguing about something and she got so mad about it, she was just like *shakes fist* WHAT THE HECK I AM SO MAD AT YOU. He probably said something super mean. Or maybe he burped! You know how you get mad when we burp and you say it's not polite? I bet she said that and he was like, 'I'll burp all I want to' and that made her mad. That other girl's just standing there because she's like that WAS a pretty gross burp."


One Direction:

"I think this is the start of a TV show about a bunch of silly guys. The one making the pointy hand is the leader. The guy on the left is like the dumb brother. That one guy's pants are WAY too small. I don't even know how he gets those on."

 

Fifty Shades of Grey, the movie:


*Gasp*
"Hey it's where we used to live! Seattle! Anyway ... let's see, he's a tough guy and he's about to fight a bunch of bad guys, like with a pistol or something. Yeah. It says 'Mr. Grey will see you now' because he's about to jump out of that window and shoot all the bad guys from the air. He's like, 'I will see you in ...' and then he says the H word. Probably this isn't rated PG or PG-13 because of that word."


Prince George:

"This is a baby. You're saying people are interested in this baby? Babies don't even do anything. It's like 'Oooh, wow, he pooped in his diaper.' Who cares about that?"

 

The 2013 Kardashian Christmas card:

"What is -- what? I don't get it. This is ... you know how you say Adventure Time is too freaky and it makes you feel like you took cold medicine? Well that's what THIS is like."

More from The StirHow Are You Explaining Miley to Your Kids? 'The Stir' Writers Discuss! (VIDEO) 

Have your kids ever been confused by overexposed celebrities?



Images ©iStock.com/mikkelwilliam; via JustinBieber/Instagram; via Universal Pictures; via People; via E!/David LaChapelle/The Kardashians

17 Comments

To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

DiANA... DiANAiVELiSSE

the Kardashian explanation is AWESOME!!! <3 HIM!!!!

nonmember avatar Jenni

"This is a baby. You're saying people are interested in this baby?" I LOVE IT!!!

nonmember avatar ana

He burped! It all makes sense now! Hahahha!

DeeMar05 DeeMar05

Love it!! Show him more images!!

Kalisa Hobbs Hyman

My son was about this age when we were watching a TV show about Michael Jackson, with all this old footage of him with the Jackson 5. After watching it for a little while, Elijah says to me (clearly a bit confused), "Who...is this again?" I said, "Michael Jackson." And he said, "Michael Jackson's BLACK??"

the4m... the4mutts

AGAIN, AGAIN, AGAIN!! Omfg! That was great! I love it!

nonmember avatar Vicki

I feel the same way about Adventure Time and the Kardashians!

nonmember avatar soobs

If your son wrote for TMZ, only then I'd read it. Too funny!!

1-10 of 17 comments 12 Last
F