Dads Confess to Crazy Things They Let Kids Do When Mom Isn't Around

Every once in a blue moon, my husband volunteers to watch our 4-year-old daughter so I can go meet friends and otherwise have a life. While I'm always grateful when he grants me these few hours of freedom, some small part of me wonders: What do those two do when I'm not there?

While I can't imagine my husband would ever tell me the truth, I decided to poll a bunch of other dads on what they do with their kids when mom's not around, just to get an idea. Their answers are equally hilarious and horrific -- they'll make you wonder whether you should ever leave him alone with your kids ever again.

"Whenever my wife travels for work, I take my kids (6 and 3 years old) to a diner and we eat cake for dinner. It was going really well until my 3-year-old told my wife when she saw her the next morning, 'Daddy gave us cake for dinner!'"

"I used to say that my son's first words would be 'Don't tell your mom.' When she's not around, we attend psychic expos. My son has an interest in the paranormal that my wife does not approve of. We didn't talk to the dead, but he did talk to 'mystics' about animal spirits, angels, Bigfoot, and aliens."

"I let my kids have the two dogs sit on the sofa with them (a major no-no) and we watch scary movies (another no-no). Got caught once. I was told that the kids would be better off staying home without my supervision!"

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"I let my kids (age 9, 11, and 13) hammer and saw with my tools, climb ladders, go on the roof of the garage, wade in the stream, stay up late, and drive the car in the driveway on my lap."

"Plenty, but here's a start: Potato cannon (she was 4); eat dinner in front of the television; have a pizza eating race; blueberry basketball (each person's mouth is the "hoop" and the goal is to sit across the table from each other and try to get as many blueberries in the other person's mouth as possible); go rock climbing (infant, strapped to my back, I climbed); bribe them to do chores so I look good. Funny, no 'Dad of the Year' trophies for me; I wonder why not?"

"One time my kids and I were in a hotel and all we had in the ice chest were hot dogs, but we had nothing to cook with. So I took an extension cord, stripped the end, and stuck the copper wire in each end of the hot dog. Then I plugged it in and watched it sizzle. You need to hold the plug because too much time and the hot dog blows up."

Have you caught your partner misbehaving with your kids?

Image © Tim Pannell/Corbis

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Jennifer Lynn Leible

I wonder what my husband does when I'm not around because he let's them do plenty when I am around like watch scary movies and work in his garage. The d's is 9 and DD is 10.

mommy... mommytojack0524

This has the attitude of "my husband is my 3rd child". All men aren't stupid and all men don't act like the kids. My husband has just as much right to make rules for our son as I do. 

I know these articles are usually done in jest, but there is a prevalent theory out there that men can't parent as well as women or that they are just overgrown adolescents. That's just crazy. 

lilma... lilmama31709

The hotdog thing had me laughing so hard

Sandy... Sandy0904

My husband let my children do many crazy things. Sometimes we need to remember that Dad isn't going to let them get hurt. We need to be more realistic about what might happen in our absence, too. Mom's can be so stuck in routine & rules that we may forget to be a little flexible. It didn't kill anyone to eat chocolate cake for dinner and it isn't something they do every day. Once I went on a Girl Scout trip with my daughter for a week. When the bus returned, my husband was standing with the boys that had flowers as well as freshly cut mohawks. They were sworn to secrecy for the rest of the week's happenings.

Happy... Happydad73

I didn't see much of a problem with these. To many times moms become psycho about every little facet of their child's life and forget that there needs to be unstructured fun and exploration. As long as dad isn't letting them play with loaded guns, cyanide or in busy intersections, why not let him help the kids grow in imaginitive ways that will pay dividends later in life?!?

00NoW... 00NoWay00

Haha ... I think it's funny because when my husband is home, I try to make healthy dinners and follow the "rules" of the house. Well, he went away for a week on a business trip recently and my boys and I had all kinds of "bad" foods (like frozen dinners), ate dinner in front of the TV and stayed up past our bedtimes. So, moms can be just as guilty as dads. ;-)

reneer1 reneer1

My boyfriend vacuumed our son to remove dog fur, that's just plain funny!

hffla... hfflanders

Am I the only one who doesn't think these are ridiculous things?

nonmember avatar Tido

I get a kick out of mom's who say that their husbands "watch" their kids so they can go do something. This seriously implies that the fathers of our children are babysitters. Not the case in this household. Hubby is a parent, same as me, and when I make plans to go do something, he gets to stay home and do what he does every single day: parent.

That being said, my only real complaint about the father-daughter bonding time: he taught our daughter to refer to his brother as Uncle Douchebag. It totally suits him (he is indeed a d-bag) but from the mouths of babes... No.

Tracys2 Tracys2

Agreed- this is the extreme answers, but it sounds like there are dads out there that feel their kids are not getting the fun and freedom they should have, and they use this as an opportunity to let loose!

We are kind of backward in our house. My husband is the stricter, by-the-book guy (except regarding healthy food, who will have everyone sitting in the same chair, at exactly the same time, for 3 meals a day (all with a meat, a starch, and a fruit or vegetable). I am the one who says "Hey, it's 3pm and we missed lunch. How about pizza and watermelon at the pool, and we can have a snack before dinner?" I suppose there is value in having a little of both experiences.

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