7 Things Moms of Minecraft Obsessed Kids Will Understand Completely

kids MinecraftIf you are a parent and you have a computer, I'm sure you've seen the article titled "6 Words You Should Say Today." Sometimes it's shared under different titles: "The Only 6 Words Parents Need to Say to Their Kids," "This Is the Only Parenting Tip You'll Ever Need," "6 Words You MUST Say to Your Children or You're Literally the Worst and Should Go to Jail," etc. The gist of it is that saying "I love to watch you play" is the best thing you can say to your child when they're doing an activity like sports or playing a game -- much more powerful than praising or criticizing their performance.

Here's the problem with that oh-so-viral command: what if you do NOT love watching them play, not at all, not even a little bit? What if watching them play is so insanely boring, it makes your brain feel like it's liquifying and is on the verge of erupting from your eye sockets in a wall-splattering fountain of grayish-red gore?

Because that, friends, is exactly how I feel about Minecraft.

I've long given up on wrapping my head around the obsessive appeal of Minecraft. I mean, I sort of get it: it's like LEGOs, an infinitely-expanding universe of things you can build and engage with. That's cool. And even though Minecraft looks like it was made for the 1985-era Nintendo NES, well, who am I to criticize my children's graphics preferences.

Still, my understanding and patience can only stretch so far. I'm glad my kids have found something they're both into, and I'm pleased it's Minecraft and not, like, Grand Theft Halo Call of Slaughter or whatever. But the problem with Minecraft is that kids aren't just interested in it, they're consumed by it. They want to play it all the time, and worse, they want to TALK about it all the time.

That's where the whole "I love to watch you play" thing falls flat for me, because no. I salute your passion, child of mine, but I don't want to talk about Minecraft. I don't even want to give you the courtesy Mom "Mmm-hmm" when you blather on about it, because oh my god, that might encourage you.

If you have a Minecraft kid, I'm sure you know exactly what I'm talking about. For those who haven't had the pleasure, here's what basically every one-sided conversation sounds like -- along with my inevitable reaction.

"Mom! Mom! I crafted an iron sword and, guess what, iron swords and diamond swords only take two hits to kill an enemy like a zombie or creeper or skeleton, but any kind of sword can kill a spider in one hit, so anyway I used two pieces of iron and I melted them and then I got a stick and that's how I made an iron sword!"


"MOOOM! I built a square out of nether rock and put lava in the middle and after a while I took the lava back out and put it on sand and it made GLASS, and guess how else you can make glass, you could put sand in a furnace! And if you have glass, you can make windows so you can see out of your house and it brings in light so the bad guys can't get you OR you could make a torch with one piece of coal and one stick and that makes six torches."



"So Mom, did you know that if you can get eight pieces of leather, you can make a leather tunic and, guess what, that makes ARMOR. And if you have seven pieces of leather, you can make leather pants, and that's armor too, and if you get five pieces of leather, you can make either a leather helmet or leather boots and those are ALL ARMORS."

"MoOOOmmmmm! I got one piece of wood and now I can craft that into four wooden planks, and if I throw away one of the wooden planks, I'll have three and I can take three pieces of wool, which you get from three sheep -- unless you can shear one, then it gives two pieces -- but anyway you take the wool and the planks and you can make a bed and that's what you can sleep on at night."

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"Hey Mom? Mom? Mom? So I can use a wooden pickaxe, stone pickaxe, iron pickaxe, or diamond pickaxe to break stone, which you can't break with your fist, and if you have broken stone, you can craft a furnace or a stone crafting table that you can use to craft stone materials like a stone sword or stone shovel or stone hoe!"

 

"GUESS WHAT MOM! If you get 14 pieces of obsidian and put three on the ground and put four up one side and four up the other side then connect the four with the other three and then take flint and steel and tap it on the obsidian, you can make a nether portal!"



"Oh and also? ALSO? Also, Mom?? If you get some eyes of ender and make or maybe find a stone surrounded by lava and then you put the ender eyes in these holders, YOU CAN MAKE AN ENDER PORTAL!!!!!!!"


Do you share my Minecraft pain?


Image via Linda Sharps

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Runmu... RunmumRun

Laughed my butt off. My children clock the moments they arent playing. It drives me nuts. My 5 year old says " I'll stop asking you if you just LET.ME.PLAY" And yes when they arent playing, they are calling their cousins and talking about it. I loathe minecraft

nonmember avatar Jana

People who don't play minecraft just don't get it. I'm 33 yrs old with 4 kids and we all play minecraft because it's awesome.

nonmember avatar funnymommy

Omg!! This was great! Laughed soooo hard. I was feeling guilty for not wanting to hear them talk and talk and talk about Minecraft. Thank you for making me feel better!

nonmember avatar Jena

We are game geeks here too. My kids love Minecraft but I just can't get into it. My son asks me all the time Mom what is your favorite game? Please say Minecraft, please say Minecraft! I say no you know my favorite is Transformers Legends! lol

Tracys2 Tracys2

Yup- my kids all play it sometimes, but my oldest is always on about version 1.7.2 and what is different. All his friends come over to play.

jaxmadre jaxmadre

Yes, I definitely get it. Not only does he love to play it. And not only does he love to talk about it. He likes watching videos on YouTube of other people playing it. 


 


And what about the Minecraft-themed parodies? Does your kid love those, too? He wants me to download Minecraft parodies from iTunes so he can listen to them. 
I indulged him once or twice. It's just too much for me. 

LeeshaE LeeshaE

Totally get it. The other day I got an excited call from my son, "Grandma got me a Zombie Pigman Minecraft hanger!" My response, "That's a real thing? Cool."

nonmember avatar BostonBob

Yes!



Glad to know I'm not the only one. My son (almost 7) goes on about how different types of explosives work on brick, stone and wood buildings when demolishing them. And the placement of them too.

nonmember avatar Kristi

Linda I love you and your honesty-that you seemingly pull from my brain. Jana-you are hereby sentenced to fly to South Dakota to help me with my son's minecraft party this weekend. So far I know what a creeper, enderman and that dirt clump thing are.......kind of.

nonmember avatar Jana

Lol@kristi. I'm all about Pinterest for party ideas. I've seen some pretty neat party ideas for minecraft on there.

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