Sleepovers: Do You Allow Them?

on December 11, 2008 at 4:11 PM

Sleepovers with friends can be the most memorable times in a child's life, yet many parents are terrified to allow their kid to go to them, or even to host another child. The first issue is that in order to allow your child to spend the night somewhere else, you have to trust the parents of his friend. It doesn't help that as parents we've all become scared to death by reports of child molesters and other crazies lurking among us.

But when your child is the right age (something only you can decide) sleepovers can have many benefits. In a parenting article I discovered, "The Right Age for a Sleepover," author Ronit Baras explains the advantages of sleepovers. Some highlights...

A sleepover requires flexibility. Kids are forced to leave their comfort zone and take themselves into new territory, into the unknown. With Mom and Dad knowing the host family, a sleepover can teach the kids that they can take that risk and survive it.
The younger the kids are, the more opportunities they need to stay away from their parents and still feel safe. Sleepovers are good opportunities enhance their social skills and independence. They go into a new house with a different set of rules and boundaries and they must learn to sense what those are and to get along - and most of the time they do.
Inviting friends to sleepover can teach your kids to share their toys, their bed and even their mom and dad’s attention.
When parents allow their kids to sleepover at friends’ houses, they actually let go of some control that they have over their children’s life. This is not an easy task and the younger the kids, the harder it is to let go. In many ways, a kid’s sleepover is a chance for parents to develop emotionally too.

So what do you say? Can she sleep over at her friend's now?

Filed Under: independence

Comments (16)

debra_benge

on Dec 11, 2008 at 5:26 PM

My son has had a few sleep overs to his best friend's house. He loves it. His best friend a little less so. He made it through the first night, but the second time, he wasn't able handle it, and went home around 10 that night. His third time was a success, and he's been pestering us to stay the night again. We have plans for him to come again after the holidays.

Report this comment

wolflinx

on Dec 11, 2008 at 5:32 PM

I let my girls go to sleep overs. Most of the time they like have their friends sleep over here. For their last birthday they had a sleep over, it was the just the girls night. my bf stayed at his moms for the night. we made t-shirt transfers, jewelry and home made sundaes. and watched a couple of movies.

BJoan

on Dec 11, 2008 at 6:03 PM

Of course you should be familiar with the family and your child should be comfortable in that home, but I think sleepovers are great for kids! I remember how much I loved sleepovers when I was a kid! Kids shouldn't have to miss out on such a great time....as long as the child is ready.

eryndiane

on Dec 11, 2008 at 6:37 PM

I have had a few at our house with my now 6 year old daughter, and they have all pretty much been horrible. Either the kids don't want to go to sleep, or one is still awake, or one wants to go home. UUGGH! My daughter has stayed over at a couple of homes and for the most part, that has worked out fine. I think we will wait till her friends are a little older to have more sleep overs at our place.

dianah1

on Dec 11, 2008 at 9:48 PM

My daughter has had 2 sleepovers. She is 8 and her friends range from 4 - 11. They all had a great time and were good. I think sleepovers are a good thing for kids to have.

mscamp0235

on Dec 11, 2008 at 10:01 PM

My son does ok on sleepovers he got a little homesick when he went on vaca with his dad this summer for 4days my DD has only stayed at my neices with my sister who we are around all the time and she does really well there

momto3infl

on Dec 11, 2008 at 11:10 PM

My oldest girl has had some sleepovers at friends and some at our house-most of her friends are not allowed or their parents dont like sleepovers. My son has had a couple also-they are 10 and 7. In a few years our 4yr will be joining in this also.

lisakay3

on Dec 12, 2008 at 12:13 AM

I always have a hard time with sleep overs but know it is good for the kids. The problem I am having now is I have twin 7 year olds b/g. My daughter gets asked more than my son and it hurts his feelings. I think it is just more of a girl thing anyways but it is hard for hime to have his sister gone. I feel bed for him and try to do something special with him when she is gone. I worry some because often times I feel like I know the mom real well but not always the dad and that concerns me. I have talked with my daughter about what is okay and what is not and when to tell mommy if something happens that she does not feel comfortable with. I am having surgery on the 23 and several people have offered to keep my younges son who is 3 but I am not ready for that. I think they need to be older.

lovewing

on Dec 12, 2008 at 1:06 AM

There is more than worrying about adult molesters. I know my own experience. I'll have sleep-overs here. I stay up all night if I have to to keep a good eye on things. As far as trusting other parents, they would have to see things the way I do. To understand what to look out for. My children have stayed overnight elsewhere and did fine. I have a problem with most children being spoiled and whiny. When there is a problem, they don't want to listen. It just causes problems instead of having fun.

eykelley

on Dec 12, 2008 at 1:39 AM

If I know the parents good.. I am fine with it. Like my DS has already had a few over at my BFF's (she has a lil one too) and he is like 19 months! LOL.. but they love sharing bath time and play time... its a cool oportunity and we swop for date nights.. we watch one weekend.. they watch the next.. and it works great....

LISAKAY3- I would say if your DD gets invited over.. have one of your DS friends over.. that way theres no sister home! LOL! He may not get invited.. becuz ur right... its more a girl thing.. but make it a "guys camping sleep over".. let em pitch a tent in the back yard and sleep under the stars! Theres TONS of ways to make it feel like a real camp out! But, just have him invite a friend or two... make things fun for both of em!