The decision to divorce is a deep, heavy, and painful one -- especially if you have kids. You only do it if you're sure the marriage is beyond repair and you know it's the best decision for your family. And once you've separated, you're reminded daily of the price you're paying for this big change. I split from my former husband two years ago and I'm still glad I did it. I'm fortunate that he is an excellent co-parent. But man, it ain't easy doing it on my own six days a week! Here's what I miss about being a married mom.
1. "Do as your mom says" backup. When your child doesn't want to go to bed when you tell them to, there's no one there to reinforce your authority.
2. Tag-teaming. If you have more than one child, you can't do that routine where one of you each handles one child, or at least you divide and conquer the children. And forget multitasking. Gone are the days when one of you gets stuff done around the house while the other manages the kids.
3. Splitting the household chores. I managed to avoid taking out the garbage almost 100 percent of the time while I was married. And my ex-husband always cleaned up after I cooked dinner. Now it's all on me.
4. Running out the door for anything. Unless you have older kids, you can't just dash out to run an errand while the kids are home. There's no one there to watch them.
5. Commiseration. You've had a long day, you're at your wits' end, and you need a shoulder to cry on. Your friends can offer support, but no one knows the specific frustrations of your kids like your ex-spouse does.
6. OMG, money. Fortunately I had a full-time job when we split, so I can support myself. Believe me, I know it's a thousand times worse for women who were financially dependent on their husbands. That said, I'm not covering my entire household just on my income. Why did I decide to be a writer again?
7. Being on the same page most of the time. Different homes, different rules -- that's hard for everyone. It's worse when exes can't agree on the big-picture things, like whether your kids should be raised with a certain religion.
What do you miss about being a married parent?
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