Why Giving Your Kids Chicken for Dinner Will Piss Them Off

kid yellingA bunch of big-brained scientists with fancy degrees recently concluded that kids become more aggressive when they're eating chicken on the bone. The researchers from Cornell University found that kids who eat chicken on the bone are twice as likely to be hostile toward other kids and disobey their parents. The researchers, who clearly think cancer is going to cure itself, found that biting food increases activity level, aggression, and noncompliance, and advise parents to avoid serving it before bed or during a dinner party.

The findings indicate that kids are more obedient and less aggressive when they use utensils to eat as opposed to biting the food directly.

More From The Stir: Hitting & Biting in Toddlers: How to Handle It

This study sounds like a bit of a stretch to me. Though I suppose there are some cases in which eating chicken on the bone could make a kid more aggressive. For instance:

1. If your child is eating chicken on the bone while watching Platoon.

2. If your child is eating chicken on the bone while playing Mad World or some other incredibly violent video game.

3. If your child is eating chicken on the bone while repeatedly getting punched in the face by his brother.

4. If your child is eating chicken on the bone while mainlining Mountain Dew.

5. If your child is eating chicken on the bone while at a paint ball/bouncy house party with 50 screaming kids.

6. If your child is eating chicken on the bone following four cupcakes and two donuts.

7. If your child is eating chicken on the bone that's laced with Pixy Sticks.

8. If your child is eating chicken on the bone while listening to incredibly loud, profanity-rife punk rock music.

9. If your child is eating chicken on the bone while they're in the middle of playing football.

10. If your child is eating chicken on the bone immediately after receiving an incredibly realistic, noisy toy gun.

Other than that, I'm thinking chicken on the bone is fine. But then again, I'm not a big-brained scientist with a fancy degree. What do I know?

What do you think of this study?

 

Image via Justin Paget/Corbis

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Ashley Littlejohn

So I guess corn on the cob, sandwiches, finger foods, and just being a kid and using their hands for non-finger food foods is gunna screw up my kids too?

Momm2... Momm2threeboyz

I think it's BS! The list was hilarious though and all good points!

wendy... wendywendy

Is April Fool's day late this year??  So stupid (the study, not you).

pippi311 pippi311

They actually wasted time and money on this "study"? Aren't there more important things to focus on rather than the behavioral effects of eating chicken? Good grief.

Debbie Vi

the importance isn't in the behavioral effects of eating chicken, but in identifying correlates to aggression. Decreasing aggression in society benefits everyone. It actually makes a bit of sense if you spend a minute considering it versus immediately finding ways to refute it - eating meat from a bone is innately an act of aggression. Which seems more aggressive - a brontosaurus or a t-rex (yes I have a little boy!)?

Kim Rowan

Dumbest thing I have read in a LONG time .... Glad to see money getting spent on such useful studies...

nonmember avatar lizzie

Thats ridiculous my kids love hot wings bone in same as me... I also grew up eating chicken on the bone and I am a passavist!! I dont have one ounce of aggression in me... my daughter is the only one of my kids with anger issues and she doesn't eat chicken lol

nonmember avatar Trista

I agree that's BS

2nsingle 2nsingle

Hmmp, okay. L'dMAO at the list though!

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