My kids' spring break was last week, and we drove them to stay with their grandparents for a couple days. We actually only had to drive halfway, since my husband's parents were kind enough to meet us for the handoff, but even an hour in the car with my boys is PLENTY. My favorite is when someone dramatically flops sideways in the backseat and announces that we have been driving forever and they're staaaaaaaarving -- after we've gone exactly 14 miles down the road.
Of course, as annoying as it can be to embark on a driving vacation with kids, being stuck in a car for hours on end with grownups is no picnic either. I decided to poll my own children about the worst things parents can do during a road trip, and I've been cracking up over their answers ever since.
1. Sing along with the music. 8yo: "Especially like when Dad sings to AC/DC, because it just sounds like a lot of screaming." 6yo: "Ha ha! Dad sounds like the playground during recess!"
2. Eat something stinky. 8yo: "Remember when you guys bought those meat stick things (Ed. Note: pepperoni from a gas station) and it made the whole truck smell like farts?" "Riley, that was like two years ago." "Well it was THE WORST."
3. Talk about boring grownup stuff. 8yo: "Sometimes you guys talk like 'blah blah blah' for about 50 hours in a row." *makes hand-talking gesture while rolling eyes to indicate the Severe Boringness of our conversation*
4. Tell the kids to be quiet. "Well, what are we supposed to do when you two are really loud?" 6yo: "Maybe you could wear some beerplugs!"
5. Not stop at McDonald's. "Oh come on, you guys don't even like the food that much." 8yo: "Yeah but we like the toys." "Dude, those are the crappiest toys ever made." 6yo: "Someday I think they'll have real Pacific Rim robots." "Honey, they are never going to give out Pacific Rim robots." 6yo, craftily: "Can we go there now and just check?"
6. Play talk radio. 8yo: "Those guys are always mad about something. I mean, calm down, right? What are even they so mad about?"
7. Refuse to hand over multiple pieces of gum until the child is chewing a massive wad the size of a softball. 6yo: "Once you gived me some gum but then I couldn't have another gum and I was sad."
8. Seriously: no stinky food. 8yo: "How about that time we went to Subway and you got TUNA FISH. It smelled like cat food!" 6yo (laughing hysterically): "Like barf!" 8yo: "Like barfed up cat food that someone pooped into a diaper."
9. Get gas. 8yo: "It's like, didn't we just get gas yesterday? Ucccccch."
What do your kids complain about when they're in the car?