20 Ways Kids Suck the Life Out of Their Parents

Say What!? 7

I love my kids with all of my heart, they complete me, they're my heart beating outside of my body, and life before them doesn't compare. Of course. 

Having said that ... they suck. Maybe not as much as other kids, but they can. Well, at least 20 things about them do.

1. I can't remember the last adult movie I saw in a theater, but I've seen Frozen three times. (Okay, I loved it, but still.)

2. They have zero appreciation for an immaculately organized playroom. In fact, it seems, that's when it's the most fun to trash it.

3. They act like having to bathe is the end of the freaking world.

4. They insist on reading the same books over and over again, and it's never a classic, like Where the Sidewalk Ends or Where the Wild Things Are or something. It's Captain Underpants. Always Captain Underpants.

5. They only want a drink once I've gotten one for myself and left the kitchen.

6. They conveniently can't reach the hooks to properly hang their coats up on.

7. Have you seen my stretch marks? No. Because my stomach will never again see the light of day.

8. They reintroduced me to Chuck E. Cheese's.

9. They won't hug me in public, but like me to stay in their rooms until they are sleeping.

10. They outgrow shoes at record speed, but seem to fit into the crappy t-shirts I hate FOREVER.

11. They hide the remote controls so that only they can change the channel in the playroom, not their siblings. But then they forget where they hid them, so we share one remote for three TVs all over the house.

12. They always get sick at the most inopportune times.

13. They cover every surface in the house with a mystery sticky film. Including my computer that they aren't even allowed to use.

14. They don't appreciate being told "I told you so" even though I did. Like a hundred times.

15. They'll eagerly eat what I've prepared for myself for dinner, but once I make it for them, it's inedible.

16. There seems to be a direct correlation between how long dinner has taken to prepare and how much they will enjoy it. Kraft mac and cheese or pizza? Happy children. Slow cooked beef, sauteed veggies, rice, etc.? Tears.

17. They have zero respect for my personal space. Like, ever.

18. They constantly beg for sleepovers, but then are nightmares after.

19. Somehow, the dessert in their school lunches always manages to get eaten, but the apple comes back whole and the carrot bag remains unopened.

20. I somehow find the above things endearing rather than annoying. 

Is it just my kids?


Image via Scary Mommy



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the4m... the4mutts

LoL this was cute :) while I don't have the exact same battles in my house, it did remind me of a few we have

-The girls BEG for their only girl cousin to come over. Then promptly begin ignoring her. Then cry when she has to leave.

-The ask for a specific food, then claim that's not what they meant to ask for, but only after Im DONE making it. Forget you! Eat it or starve!

-They don't want water to drink... until the water jug is empty. But sink water Just. Won't. Do. Even though I fill the jug from the sink. Guess it tastes different after being in the jug for an hr?? Wtf?

-Crayons. They get left out all day, untouched. But the minute they're put away? Of COURSE that's right when they were "getting ready to start coloring, so can you get them back out?"

Lovable little jerks! Haha

tatis... tatisabuela

No dear, it's NOT just your kids. However, I'm thankful to have lived through it ALL. My two are now grown and are complaining about the same things you mention in your list regarding their own kids. Ah, payback can be glorious.

Knitt... KnittyTina

Funny list! I experience almost all of this all the time.  NO respect for my privacy -  I try to sneak into the bathroom for 30 seconds and all of them come rushing in to stare and make comments.  It's like an Olympic sport with them. And the crappy T shirts.  I made one of my kids where a nice sweater to school one day and said her teacher was probably going to faint because she wore something new. 

Knitt... KnittyTina

Also, I solved the coat hook problem! I bought Wonder Hangers and they can flip down so that the hook can hang down low and the children can reach the hanger and hang up their own coats.  Thank you As Seen on TV!  No more coats on the bottom of the closet with wet slushy boots sitting on top of them.

CrazyAZ CrazyAZ

What about the toddler who adamantly declares "No!" when it's suggested that he may want to use the toilet. Then, within 3 minuted he poops in his pants. Oh dear.

LadyH... LadyHutch0824

CrazyAZ, this is my current battle.  I am in the hell of a toddler and two teenagers. For the record, my two and a half year old is better at cleaning up after himself than either teenager.


Someone just shoot me please and put me out of my misery.

nonmember avatar Pfffft

Why is it that the best birth control is the very thing you are trying to avoid while on birth control?

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