Little Girls List Their 'Dating Rules' & We Interpret Them for the Boys

girls kissing boyThink there is nothing a grade-schooler can teach a grownup about finding a boyfriend? You'd be wrong. Two very young, yet very wise, little girls came up with a List of Boyfriend Rules that is so smart and so spot on, you would think they came from women who had been through the romantic ringer. Their inspiration? Six-year-old Blaire is "absolutely boy crazy," according to her mom, and counts Justin Bieber as her top pick. But 9-year-old Brooke cautions that a boyfriend should "be someone who is better than Bieber and not always getting in trouble." Hard to imagine any classmates actually meeting their standards, but you never know. Here we help interpret their criteria for the boys.

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Here's their amazing list and The Stir's translation follows in brackets.

  1. nice hand writing [That means staying on the line.]
  2. cuteness [You don't have to be Harry Potter hot, but no Gru look-alikes PLEASE.]
  3. likes parents
  4. not living with parents [On second thought, living with parents is okay. But you definitely need to be sleeping in your own bed.]
  5. good maners [sic] [You better not burp in my face.]
  6. good artist [I like flowers and hearts that look like flowers and hearts.]
  7. dresses well [Boys sporting those tired OshKosh overalls need to keep steppin'. It’s all about the Gucci juniors' line.]
  8. takes you to nice places [And I'm not talking McDonald's. I am all about the Dairy Queen, baby.]
  9. nice place [Your playroom better be super cool.]
  10. likes children/wants children [Because my little sister always rolls with me.]
  11. nice jewelry [Macaroni necklaces are so pre-school.]
  12. listens [Say very little and let me prattle on endlessly.]
  13. don't pick your nose [Uh-oh. They just eliminated 3/4 of the boys in school.]
  14. no kissing on first date [You may, however, kiss my hand on the second.]
  15. marry some one who respects you
  16. smart [You absolutely must know your plus 2s.]
  17. good cook [I suggest getting an Easy Bake Oven for practice.]
  18. has a good job [A paper route is a respectable choice.]
  19. always happy [I can't deal with whiners, crybabies, and bullies.]
  20. clean [Wash your hands at least twice a day.]
  21. respect different religens [sic]
  22. last name not weird 
  23. very fun [Your playground repertoire must go beyond hide-n-seek.]
  24. makes you laugh [Know any good knock-knock jokes?]
  25. eats healthy [Gummy worms count.]
  26. takes care of body [A few laps around the swing set never hurt anybody.]
  27. doesn't tattle tale
  28. brushes teeth and floss [All the teeth. Not just the front ones.]
  29. likes YOUR job [School is your job, and if you don't like the second grade, something's wrong with you.]
  30. take care of pet [I don't do pooper-scoopers.]

Are any of these rules on your own list for dating?

 

Image via Oliver Rossi/Corbis

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