10 Ways to Ensure Your Kid Doesn’t Get Invited to Another Playdate

One of the benefits to having older children is that you no longer have to be an active participant in playdates. Lily had a friend over for 48 hours last weekend, and the only time I saw them was at meal time and to say goodnight. It was glorious. They spent the whole time playing Barbies, reading, and putting on dance shows in Lily's room. Does it get any better than that?

More from The Stir8 Weirdest Playdate Demands Parents Have Made

Evan, my 6-year-old, on the other hand, is still at the age where he needs some direction and supervision during playdates. He's also at the age where his playmates need some reminding of what is proper playdate behavior and what is not. This should help ...

1. Do not walk into a clean and organized playroom and dump out every bin of toys. Unless it's a fun game and you plan on picking every last toy up and returning it to its proper home.

2. Do not go into the pantry and grab yourself a snack without asking. That was my box of Golden Grahams, kid.

3. Do not tell me that you are bored. I'm not here to entertain you. I could use some help folding this laundry, however.

4. Don't do disgusting things in front of me. I know you do them. I don't need to see them.

5. Do not track mud or snow into the house. Leave your shoes by the door. Were you raised in a barn?

6. Do not make a mess in my bathroom. Aim in the toilet. Wipe the seat. Flush. And wash your freaking hands! Well.

7. Do not ask me to watch you do 30 cartwheels or vocal performances or solo dance routines. When you do them with my kid, I'm mildly entertained. When you're doing them alone, I'm just waiting for you to finish. Or trip.

8. Do not pick on or make fun of your playdate's -- my child's -- siblings. Are you stupid?

9. Do not ask to watch TV or play video games the whole time. You are there to entertain my child; the TV can entertain him after you leave.

10. Do not ask to sleep over. I'm pretty sure we've had enough of each other.

What playdate rules would you add to this list?


Image via Donald Iain Smith/Getty



To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

mommy... mommy2twoboyz

it sounds like you HATE little boys.

AliPa... AliParker

People like this author make me feel bad for the people they have to come in contact with. We have to worry enough about bullies at school and elsewhere it is unfortunate that some adults are just as sick.


And it might sound like I am overreacting but I would never want my kids in a house where their friends mom is dirty looking them and cursing about them under her breath all damn day. Just don't have the play date then.

Happy... Happydad73

Hmmmm, these are not unreasonable. Pretty much sounds like how I want my own children to behave let alone someone else's kids at my house.

Fondue Fondue

To those of you saying that it sounds like she hates kids or that she's being unreasonable, teach your kids how to behave and not act like little animals, and I'm sure they'll be invited on a second play date.

Mary Schneider

Good god do you people have a sense of humor? Cripes... it's called satire, folks. Get a dictionary and look it up. While you're at it, take the stick out your bum.

I'd add... Don't bite my child. Don't make fun of my child. Don't act like a snot-nosed little turd, criticizing my housekeeping or snootily mentioning that Mommy cuts the hotdogs the RIGHT way for lunch.

My kids were taught to say please and thank you, and to pick up after themselves on a playdate. Were they perfect? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! No. But I get compliments all the time on what "nice" kids my two are. After I get over the shock and stop blinking stupidly at the person, I usually remember to say thank you, and consider it a pat on the back because if they're at least halfway civilized human beings while in the company of others, I"ve done at least SOMETHING right.

nonmember avatar mandy

Good list! :) the one Id have to add: Don't help yourself to any of my child's posessions.

nonmember avatar Bri

Now the question is: if you had a monster of a child - who your offspring called 'friend' - come in like Hurricane Katrina on your house and left just as quickly ...would you want them over again? Or would you delude yourself and think they were "nice"? Don't knock Scary Mommy! At least she can honestly say what she feels instead of having to feel intimidated in to being a "nice mommmy" 24/7 by criticism from Internet mothers.

Lisa Laflamme Kaiser

She is spot on... I HATE play dates, I love MY kids I tolerate other peoples kids!!

Ok there are a few of my friends kids whom I adore but for most I TOLERATE you!!!

I also dont mind my older son haveing people over because they do their own thing!!!

Claire Hunter

oh - funny as!!! and oh so truthful! love it...

1-10 of 30 comments 123 Last