Ahh! My eyes! After seeing this list written by a class of second graders for tips on how to fall in love, I'm not sure whether to laugh out loud or cry into my beer. My own second grader might already know this much about what happens when men and women have the hots for each other.
Given that most second graders are 7 or 8 years old, you wouldn't think they had much of a clue about the birds and the bees, but based on this particular note, it's clear that I'm not giving them nearly enough credit.
In case you can't quite read the words in the photo ... here's what these sex-savvy kiddos had to say:
How to fall in love:
- First you stare at the person.
- You get close to each other.
- You ask for a date.
- You go in bed and do sex.
- When you kiss you suck and lick.
- Get "nacked" in bed and do more sex.
- Go dance and put your noses together.
- You go in bed forever Then kiss forever.
- Take a shower together and kiss.
- Give each other rings.
- Go to the pool together.
And they didn't bother to fill out the rest of the steps through number 24.
Holy shiz. What method of falling in love are these kids describing ... the Hollywood version?
I mean, clearly the dancing and pool going should come before doing "the sex," right? (At least "staring" is listed first. Good a place to start as any, I guess.)
OMG. Maybe I'm really naive, but I'm not even sure my son knows the word "sex." Or if he does, I highly doubt he has any idea what it means!
But he has been asking questions for quite some time now about how babies are made, how the baby gets in mommy's belly, how it comes out, etc. It makes me wonder if maybe I should just go ahead and get the sex talk over with.
The last thing I want is some kid at school explaining things to him -- or worse, doing it in written form, like this class did.
But then what am I supposed to do if I tell him and he winds up being the kid at school who tells all the other second graders about sex?
Either way, I think I'm pretty much screwed.
Have you had the sex talk with your kids yet?
Image via Twitter