8 Ways Kids Ruin Our Marriages

kids ruin marriageIn the most obvious study in the history of obvious studies (conducted by Captain Obvious himself), researchers at Open University have found that couples who remain childless actually have happier marriages than those who choose to have children.

Gee, I wonder why. Now, I will say, in my own marriage, this has not been exactly accurate. My husband and I had our first baby 3.5 years into our marriage and we have been 100 times happier since she arrived. It's not ALWAYS a marriage killer to have a baby (or two). That said, there are many, many ways I can see that kids DO make marriage much more difficult. The truth is, when you are first married, the focus is entirely on the person. When you have kids, the focus changes and not all people are willing to hang with that.

Here are eight ways kids kind of do tend to kill marriages:

1.) No money: Forget fancy dinners and nights out, EVERY red cent goes to their classes, their clothing, their food, their childcare, their tuition. No money for romance or presents or long, romantic vacations.

2.) Lingerie? I think not: Once you are a mom, it's like all your sexy lingerie disappears and suddenly, well let's just say he better find spit up REALLY alluring because that's what he's going to see!

3.) Bed hogging: I would say at least five nights a week, by midnight we have at least one child sleeping in between us. On bad nights, it's two. Forget morning sex or even middle of the night wake up sex. It ain't happening.

4.) Conversation chokers: My husband and I try to go on date nights and we have a nice time together, but you would think we have NOTHING else on our plates except the kids. They are ALL we talk about.

5.) Time sucks: The afternoons would be my ideal time to have sex, but guess what? That NEVER happens. There are karate classes and birthday parties and those all day naked parties your spouse and you used to enjoy pre-kid don't happen. Ever.

6.) Sheer exhaustion: I don't care how well your kids do or do not sleep through the night, the truth is, you sleep less when you have kids. No matter what. You never stop thinking about them or checking on them or worrying about them.

7.) Being "touched out": With children, there is an unbelievable amount of "touch" that happens. They want to nurse and sleep on your and cuddle with you and be on your lap while you read. It is so beautiful and sweet but when your spouse ALSO wants to touch, it can be a bit like: PERSONAL SPACE PEOPLE, PLEASE!

8.) Itty-bitty blockers: Ever try to cuddle your husband in the kitchen while making dinner? I have and it NEVER fails. Two little creatures always crawl in between us.

The truth is, all these things are facts, but neither my husband nor I would have it any other way. Sure, it could ruin some marriages, but in the end, these are fleeting moments. My husband and I will have our alone time again and I am sure we will spend it missing every second when our kids were young. WAH!

Do your kids "ruin" your marriage?

in the news, marriage


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nonmember avatar Amanda

Let me say it now: I have two beautiful children but am not married. But I have been with their father for 8 years. We had a daughter a year and half into our relationship. 5 years later we graced her with a baby monster... I mean boy.

Through every up and down and what seems like rock bottom at least 5 times over, we have fought hard to maintain a loving household. Our relationship has stood the test of time and I feel like our children are the glue that has made it work. If we didn't have our children, we probably wouldn't have as many problems as we have had. That being said, it has made me the woman I am today. I am a strong, caring, tough woman that my daughter looks up to. I know she will be an amazing mother in the future and my son will be an amazing man.

Sweetie Martin

@ Amanda I thought I was the only one who had a little girl and a baby monster....boy I mean....but i agree with u my husband and I love having our lttle ones and having both of them changed us for the better in a lot of ways

Kaela... Kaelaasmom

My husband and I don't have really any of these issues. Of course, our entire lives don't revolve around our child. We make our marriage a priority and because of that, our marriage, and our family, is every bit as strong and happy as it was prior to having our daughter.

Kelly Conner Varnadore

Why on god's green earth did you even have children if you feel that way?

nonmember avatar Kristoball

Who ever feels any of these things should do themselves, and their kids a favor, and adopt them out to someone who won't feel as thier OWN flesh and blood got in the way of their own selfish happiness! I was with my man for less than a year before I got pregnant. Five years later another boy. Three years later another boy. 14 years and three boys later, we are happier than a lot of our married friends, that so happen to still be together (two couples!) I've never thought of my kids as getting in the way, we aren't married yet...) I always thank him for helping me become a mom...it's made us strong, and since my tubes are tied, our sex life is AMAZING!!!

adopt... adoption2013

Oh lighten up this was meant you be humourous and it was.  My SO and I are interrupted from morning sex and night sex with "mooommmeee" regularly.  Cuddle time on the sofa is a thing of the past dd is on my lap and the dog is between us and the two cats are on his lap.  It's reality and it's okay to laugh about it because I wouldn't have it any other way.

maiah... maiahlynn

I'm a mom of five & have lingerie .. Hubby & I do cuddle

nonmember avatar Dev

My fiance and I have a 3 month old daughter. We have been together for 4 years and yeah, at times, we miss the way things used to be. No smell of baby vomit or formula. Being able to do what we want when we want....etc. However, the gorgeous little girl who is currently sleeping on my side of the bed so I can't go to bed even though I am completely exhausted, is well worth missing all of that for a few years. Before we know it she will be in the "my parents are stupid and don't know anything while I know everything" stage. Then she won't want cuddles and won't want to sleep in our bed. We will be the enemy. I will take every second of her "ruining" our relationship while I can. :)

Dolce... Dolcepsle

A better article would have been a pro and con.

8 ways they alter (not RUIN) your marriage and 8 ways to compensate. This makes it seem like children destroy your marriage when in reality like 5 out of 8 were pretty much about not getting sex. Having a kid means being creative. If you know by midnight the kids will be in bed, then start getting frisky at 10. If the kids always interrupt, throw a cartoon on grab your husband and run to the bathroom, turn on the faucets and lock doors.

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