Last week, we were having a tough night. OK, if I'm being really honest, it wasn't a night that unlike every other night in my house: The kids were roughhousing, I was yelling and the dog was running around in circles. The thing that set it apart from every other night? The fact that the police banged on our door to investigate a domestic disturbance that some neighbor called in.
Naturally, feeling like a major failure in the parenting department, I turned to my community to make me feel better. Was I the only one to have a parental brush with the law? Did they have any stories to share, I begged?
Did they ever ...
1. My youngest called 9-1-1 recently because we made him wait to have a turn on the computer until his sister finished her turn. When dispatch called our number back to see if everything was okay, he answered before I could, told them never to call our house again and then hung up on them. Ten minutes later we were standing in the yard explaining to a police officer that we really weren't abusing this child.
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2. My son pulled the fire alarm at the nursing home where my grandparents live. Ten fire trucks came blazing in and forced an evacuation until they were convinced there was nothing to worry about. We still get dirty looks every time we go. Fortunately, nobody had a heart attack over it. (We think.)
3. My winning-obsessed son always wants to race home from the park. He's so worried about losing that he runs through our neighborhood screaming, "Don't beat me!" over and over at the top of his lungs while I chase behind screaming, "You mean don't win!" at the top of mine.
4. When my oldest was in 1st grade, she told her teacher daddy was hurting mommy. I had to explain to the pretty blonde 20-something teacher that daddy was not hurting mommy, mommy was just a little loud during ...
5. I got pulled over because someone reported a "guy" waving a gun in the back-seat of the car. Um, the guy was my ten year old and the gun was a water gun on the way back from the pool!
6. After four years seeing the same pediatrician with my two girls (4 and 7 at the time), a first-time physician intern came in at their annual check-up to get all the vitals and ask the normal preliminary questions. She left the exam room and I heard this hushed conversation with our pediatrician about "all of these bruises and cuts all over their legs.". Our pediatrician took one look at the file, laughed, and said, "Oh, there's no problem here, that's just the Smith girls. They always look like that."
7. My middle daughter is autistic, and one day this summer she got it in her head that calling 9-1-1 and hanging up would be ok because she wanted to make sure it worked. I was at work, my husband at the store, and my 15-year-old had just woken up when the police knocked on the door. They searched my entire messy house, lectured my kids to clean it, and threatened to be back in two hours to see the progress.
8. We had the police show up at 11 p.m., blue lights flashing, barging past me into the house making sure everyone was all right. Turns out, they'd gotten a 9-1-1 call requesting back up because there was a robber in the house. My 7 and 11 year old were playing cops and robbers and my 7 year old had used an old cell phone to dial 9-1-1.
9. My husband and I were, um, getting intimate on a Sunday morning while we thought the kids were asleep. Suddenly, we hear banging on the door and the kids yell, "Help is here, Mommy!!!" Apparently they weren't sleeping, heard me making sounds they'd never heard before, got scared and called 9-1-1. A+ for being responsible, kids, but ugh!
10. Last year, my TWO year old was in a stroller at the mall. I was shopping in a department store and she somehow grabbed a bracelet without me knowing. Left the store, the alarms went off and mall security came. Worst of all? They thought I put my kid up to it! WTH?!
Anyone else got any stories to share? You're in good, er bad, company ...
Image via Scary Mommy