5 Mom Friends to Avoid if You Want to Stay Sane

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giseleIt seems Gisele Bundchen is rivaling Gwyneth Paltrow for most annoying celeb mom. First the supermodel made headlines with her breastfeeding stance: "I think there should be a worldwide law in my opinion that mothers should breastfeed their babies for six months."

Her take on baby weight: "I think a lot of people get pregnant and decide they can turn into garbage disposals. I was mindful about what I ate and I gained only 30 pounds." Oh ... and what's the big deal about delivery? "It wasn't painful, not even a little bit ... the second day I was walking, I was washing dishes, I was making pancakes in the kitchen." Then, last week she posted a photo breastfeeding while getting pampered by her Glam Squad.

Rolling your eyes yet? Just wait. The latest? An Instagram pic of a bikini-clad Gisele doing yoga on the beach with her little boy. Some people are saying this is more of her mommy bragging.

More from The Stir: The 6 Friends Every Mom Needs

But if you are annoyed with this supermom and her perfect life, it's not her fault, it's yours. Why? Because you choose to look at her perfect mommy moments and fume. I say for the sake of your sanity, ignore her and every other sanctimonious mom. Here are the five types that you should definitely avoid.

  1. The Hottie Mom. As if defying physics and logic, she is even hotter after birth, with her now full boobs and magically tiny again waist. Nothing will make you feel more frumpy and fat than that mom friend who is in her skinny jeans 24 hours after giving birth.
  2. The Uber Boober. It's like she's taken it upon herself to be the worldwide rep for breastfeeding. She doesn't just do it, she thinks every mom should must do it too ... and for at least six months to a year. If you don't, she has no problem launching into a diatribe about how you are hurting your baby.
  3. The Brady Bunch Wannabe. Is this woman trying to populate the elementary school on her own or what? Going to her house even for an hour will make you rue the thought of having more.
  4. The Germaphobe. I remember a neighbor used to make her nanny get on her hands and knees each night and clean every rug and floorboard with a Clorox Wipe. This in a house that had a no-shoes policy. Her place was more sterile than my delivery room. When I noticed I was picking up her paranoia, I had to distance myself. It's craziness.
  5. The Winner. Everything is a competition with this mom. Your child walked at 10 months, hers at 9 months and 3 weeks. Her kid knew their ABCs before anyone else, ate solids first, and don't get her started on his artwork. A Van Gogh in the making, of course. If this is your mommy BFF, your face will be set on permanent eye-roll.

What other moms should you avoid?


Image via Instagram

celebrity, celeb moms, friends

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lalab... lalaboosh

Why don't you just go live deep in the woods so you can be the best human mommy for miles and let the rest of us enjoy the differences.

linzemae linzemae

I have friends that fit into each of these categories. Variety is the spice of life

adamat34 adamat34

Does.she have any friends???? Moms are proud....suck. it. Up.

April... AprilJune

I've had to create some distance from a friend of mine who is a "germaphobe" since having children. She likes to come over, but it's an insane amount of work for me because, while I keep my house clean, I feel like it needs to be spotless so she doesn't freak out (internally- she'd never say it out loud). We don't get invited to her place (we bring germs!) and she doesn't take her baby to public places (germs!). It's worse for her when her babies are new, so I just try to be supportive from a bit of a distance until she stops worrying so much.


 


Also- I love how Gisele announces she was walking the second day after giving birth like it's an accomplishment. Don't most women?

Cerisse Mincey

As a 'hottie mom,' I promise, we're not judging over it. I actually would love to hang on to some baby weight. :/ 

Lucki... Luckicharmz

I've been told I fit into the "hottie mom" category. Thankfully my friends and I aren't shallowed and self centered so we don't put those kinds of labels on people.


As for her doing yoga with her son? Good on her, I love doing yoga with my 4 year old. He giggles the whole way through and gets excersise while doing it.

Traci... Traci_Momof2

How about avoiding the mom who looks at other mom's sharing of their own experiences as sanctimonious.


 

Lena Fontecchio

The Sanctimommy and the Uber Over Protective Helicopter Mom that frowns at you because your three year old son is going down the tallest slide even though she doesn't allow her child that is two years older to do it because she's afraid it's dangerous but implies that you are putting your child at risk.  

nonmember avatar Sosie

I agree with most of these (Brady Bunch Mom is on the fence though) except for #1 The Hottie Mom. Avoid your friend who is a new mom just because she is skinny after giving birth? Sounds like an extremely resentful and ugly thing to do. How about dress to make yourself feel your best and meet your friend for lunch instead of wallowing.

Ladyw... Ladywithtwo

Avoid a mom bc she has a lot of kids? I have 5. Glad we are not friends!

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