There are some icky things about parenthood that every mom-to-be expects to experience. The sniff test to find out if your little one has made a stinky. Fishing toys out of the toilet. Getting spit up on. If there were an actual job description written somewhere, those would all be on it. But five years into motherhood, I find myself totally unprepared for some new experiences. Take last night for instance. (WARNING: This is definitely a TMI moment.) I sat down on the commode to discover the seat was wet ... really wet. The first thing that went through my mind was, "What the HELL??" Then I remembered that our little boy had used our bathroom instead of his before bedtime. Ugh. So gross. For some reason, he thinks the notion of aiming in the middle of the seat is more of a suggestion than a rule. The whole incident got me thinking of all the surprisingly gross things parenthood brings with it. Check it out. I bet you can relate to them all!
- Dinnertime. Nothing ruins an appetite like watching chewed food make its way back onto your child’s plate.
- That stuff growing at the bottom of the toy bin. You have no idea how long it’s been there or what the heck it is. But you now have to clean it out.
- What’s the weird smell on her hands? It could be anything, so of course you imagine the worst ... and you are probably right.
- That lunchbox! At the start of the school year, it's pristine, but two months in, it looks like a petri dish. Not even a Clorox wipe can get all those stains out.
- Sandbox sand. Looks innocent enough, right? But did you know other kids have probably peed in there? I know. I saw one do it one day. And then there is the possibility of catching ringworm (it's low, but still).
- Pee on the toilet seat. Growing up, I remember my grandmother had a sign in her bathroom that read, "If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie." I clearly need to hang one in our home too.
- Seeing them lick stuff that will surely give them the Ebola virus. I was riding the subway with a friend and her daughter, who refused to sit down. As she was reprimanded, the little girl committed the cardinal sin of New York City subway riders: she put her tongue directly on the pole. Needless to say, we freaked.
What other gross things have you been surprised by since becoming a parent?
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