6 'Lies' All Parents Need to Agree on Regarding Santa

LOL 42

Santa Mrs. Claus little boyAs much fun as Christmas traditions are, have you ever noticed what a pain in the ass Santa can be sometimes?!? I mean, the whole part about knowing he's not real but having to go along with the idea that he is for the sake of the kiddos. (Though I still sort of believe in him too.)

I guess keeping up with the Santa bit at home isn't too bad, simply because every family has their own set of "rules" that are pretty easy to stick to.

But what happens when we get out in public -- and the same Santa guidelines we follow don't exactly fall in line with what other parents tell their kids?

Things can get a little bit hairy when our respective Santa stories don't quite add up, which is why I really think it would be a good idea to get a standard, universal set of rules in place to avoid any possible magic spoiling.

Here are six lies about Santa we should all be on the same page about.

  1. Santa isn't a one-man show -- Enough with the "there's only one Santa" thing. Yes, there's only ONE real Santa -- but our kids aren't stupid. They can't possibly think he's at every mall in America at exactly the same time taking photo after photo. Those "Santas" work for him as "helpers." Get it straight, people.
  2. He has a master key -- Yes. A master key to everyone's house. He doesn't always come down the chimney -- because not everyone has chimneys and there are some he simply can't fit through. Every parent needs to know when to play the "key" card.
  3. He's not gluten-free but respects kids who are -- No, he isn't going to pass over the homes of kids who don't leave him the "good" cookies. Have you seen this dude? He's not exactly a picky eater. (Yes, I once heard an adult say something to a gluten-free kid about making sure to leave "normal" cookies out. WTF?)
  4. Santa will not deliver any gifts if you are still awake -- I know a few kiddos who get to stay up late on Christmas, well -- because it's Christmas. And you know what happens when my son hears that? He wants to stay up too. But I have shit to wrap and wine to drink so I use the "Santa won't come until you're asleep" thing. Why all parents aren't on board with this is beyond me.
  5. He knows if you've been bad or good -- OMG, you guys -- we have to start enforcing this one! So many of our kids still get everything on their list even if they haven't been angels, which totally kills our credibility. If we want to milk Santa for all he's worth during the holiday season, we have to start taking gifts off the list in exchange for crappy behavior. (I know. Easier said than done.)
  6. Santa has "deals" with major retailers to cut down on labor -- Yes, he makes most of the toys. But just because some of the stocking stuffers have a Target label on them doesn't mean they didn't come from Santa. He can't be expected to do everything -- so he has Mrs. Claus make a couple shopping trips to take the load off of him a bit.

What other Santa rules should parents follow?


Image via Mary Fischer



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Todd Vrancic

Maybe the parent was letting the Gluten-free kid know that Santa was respecting his/her "special" cookies, since she/he couldn't have the "normal" ones.

nonmember avatar Michelle


Saras... Sarasahmof3

Hey. Some of those Gluten free cookies are Sinfully good. I buy them for the taste. The chocolate ones are just too good. I can never stop at 1.

adamat34 adamat34

I hate when parents use santa claus as a weapon. My sister does this only this time of year. I tell my nephews santa is like God, he loves you all the.time. then again my sister is a raging controlling lunatic.....

PeAcE... PeAcE.piXie

Would be nice to go back to appeciating that some religions don't believe in holidays and those parents should teach their children that the kindness towards our belief differences shouldn't be blatently shouted from (truth-sayer's): non-belieuer's to the believing (white lied to) children. I had a mortified crying bus full of Kindergartener's and driver I had to manage resemblance of cntrol after a non-believer 5 yr. old had heard enough about this 'Santa and Christmas prerents event that wasn't happening in his world' started screaming,'Your parents are all liars!!!! There IS NO Santa Claus OR Christmas!!! about 10x b4 bus driver (dressed as SANTA!) could stop the bus for me to calm the kid down

Jespren Jespren

Peacepixie above has it backwards, it's the onus of those telling lies to ready the lied-to to deal with truth-tellers. You can't always expect a 3 or 4 or even 8 year old to git their teeth, smile, and politely tell their wool-clouded friends to 'ask their parents' when the subject of Santa Claus comes up. It's a whole lot easier for the parents who wish to perpetuate a lie to ready their kids by explaining that not everyone believes in Santa Claus and if one of their friends says he doesn't exist that they shouldn't believe him and address any questions back to them. Me and mine are under absolutely no obligation to lie to perpetuate your deception and, while I'll certainly teach my kids to smile and say 'ask your parents'-just as my brother and I said to our Santa-believing cousins-the fact is if you don't want bubbles burst by some frustrated kid, it's *your* job to properly reinforce them.

Jessica Myers

I was raised as a non-believer, and I have chosen to tell my children what I believe in and they can choose for themselves. For us the holidays are to share by giving and helping others, being thankful for our loved ones and about God. I have told my children not to tell kids that Santa is just a story but to say " I don't believe in Santa" instead. Like God some believe and some do not. My son knows My husband and I give him the gifts on Christmas and he still likes to pretend they come from Santa. I refuse to lie to my children We are very straight forward with them and I believe it teaches them that lying is never the answer.

Robin Hartman

I don't do the Santa lie either and it's nive to hear other moms don't as well. I feel like I'm the only one sometimes.

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