My Son Rocks a Handbag & I'm Not Sure I'm Ready for This

Mom Moment 28

heart necklaceThis year my son's Christmas wish list held the usual assortment of video games and gaming-related swag. And then he sent me a link to a necklace. It's not a tough-guy leather necklace, not a little surfer dude puka shell necklace. It's a NECKLACE necklace, heart-shaped with a garnet (his birthstone). Dear readers, I will probably buy my almost-10-year-old son that necklace. But WTF?

To tell you the truth, this didn't come as a huge surprise. My son has had an eye for bling ever since he first spied the gems at an exhibit at the Natural History Museum. He has shoulder-length hair. He goes to a small, independent school filled with the children of bohemia. Every kid at that school is an eccentric snowflake. But did I mention he's carrying around my purse, too?

To clarify, it's a funky bucket-shaped handbag I no longer use. He swapped this for his LL Bean standard-issue school backpack, telling me the handbag looked more "anime." This is something he's currently obsessed with, Japanese anime, and it's influencing his personal style. The other day he asked if he could start wearing my leopard print coat with the huge faux fox fur collar and cuffs. I said no, but only because it's too long for him and would drag on the ground.

I'd always said I'd be supportive of my child no matter who or what he wanted to be. So here's my test: My son is rocking a remarkably eccentric metrosexual style at a young age. And it makes me a little bit nervous. 

Where is this going, exactly? I mean, if he's gay, fine. That's less of a big deal than it used to be. We live in a community that accepts different sexual orientations. He's definitely not transgender -- he does not want to be a girl and never asks for dresses. But still, I just want to make sure he's loved wherever he goes -- I don't want anyone to be mean to him just because he dresses flamboyantly

On the other hand, I'm proud of him for having such a strong sense of individuality. I think it says a lot about his creativity, open-mindedness, and confidence. 

Yesterday we were standing at a crosswalk together, and I looked him up and down. He had that handbag of mine, and he was wearing a necklace with a rhinestone-studded bunny -- along with flared yoga pants, a literary-minded t-shirt, a flannel shirt, checked Vans, huge fur earmuffs, and a very cool, nonchalant look on his face. He looked unbelievably, heartbreakingly fly. 

So my job here is simple -- try and instill the inner strength he needs to move about the world with confidence and integrity, and then just get out of his way. And then trust that he'll be okay, no matter what the world thinks of a little boy who dresses like Lelouch Lamperouge.

What's something your kid has done that surprised you and made you question whether you can handle it?

 

Image via Amazon

boys, tweens

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Todd Vrancic

That's called being a good parent.

nonmember avatar Adie

He is who he is! Love him for it and that is all you can do. Sounds like you are doing the right thing.

nonmember avatar kelly

keep giving him the strength to be who he is and be there for him when the world is unkind. I love the description of his style, he likes what he likes and he doesn't care what anyone thinks. :)

Kaylee Michelle Stavaros

Kids will pick on other kids no matter what, just embrace him, let him be himself and give him the support and love to know that just because other people can sometimes be cruel, he should never feel he has to change to suit them. He only has to make himself happy, the other people don't matter.

nonmember avatar Laurie

My son has a baby doll, jewelry and plays with my shoes. He is 2. But I hope and pray as he gets older that he grows out of it because, as much ad I support him for who he is, my husband expects him to be a boy and I don't think my support for him would be enough up counteract my husband's disapproval should our son continue certain "girly" habits. But no matter what, I love my son and want him to be true to himself.

TheQu... TheQueenOfChaos

I love that you let him be who he is!



Unfortunately, like Kaylee said, people Will pick on other people for anything. He could dress as "guy" as he could and someone would still find reason to pick at him. All we can do as parents is love and support our kids and encourage them to rise above and never let society influence the person they truly want to be.

Kaylee Ferrell

Just because he doesn't know exactly what he wants now, he might be trans. My husband/wife is trans and she didn't find out she wanted to be a girl until she was 15, before that she just thought she was bi. Or he could be straight and a cross dresser. Only time will tell. They is nothing wrong with him or you and your parenting skills. The biggest thing you can do is love him no matter what, and no matter what he wants to do re insure him that he doesn't have to change to fit in or no matter what other people say or do he is still a person.

nonmember avatar Angela Nighting

If he is ok with his fashion choices and he is secure enough to follow his own beat then support him with all you have!!

Jessie Radford

buy the boy the necklace, the kid has good taste :)

Madeline LuCas

If he is into anime you could look up and research anime and get things accordingly. Stay away from hentai.

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