30 Things Moms Won't Admit They're Thankful for at Thanksgiving Dinner

LOL 14

Last year, I wrote about some non-traditional things I'm ashamed to be thankful for. You know, the types of things that would probably get you kicked out of Thanksgiving dinner?  Like: I am thankful for stars like Courteney Cox, Jennifer Aniston, Heidi Klum, and J.Lo, who make 40 seem not so old. 

Well, this year, I thought I'd focus on some things I'm thankful for as a parent. Sure, the list may be a bit superficial, but I bet you're thankful for similar stuff.

Soooo, I say we take a sec to forgive each other for mentioning these things and then we, well, mention them.  I'll start:

1.  I am thankful my daughter still believes me when I tell Mommy lies like, "They don’t give ketchup at drive-thrus" or "The lunch lady calls me when you don’t eat your sandwich."

2.  I am thankful, my kids sleep through the night, most of the time, which means my eye twitch (that made people think I was either seizing or flirting) has gone away.

3.  I am thankful for Spanx and a good push up bra - after babies things spread and fell more than I anticipated.

4. I am thankful, it's been a couple weeks since anyone called me ma'am.

5.  I am thankful my kids haven't caught onto my Momisms, like the fact that "We'll see," means, not a chance in hell, or "Go ask Dad," means, it's his turn to be the bad guy.

6.  I am thankful that I can watch Netflix on my iPad and headphones. Family movie night has a whole new meaning when my kids are watching something animated, while I watch Walter White justify cooking Meth, again (it never gets old).

7. I am thankful for my childrens' leftovers - mac n' cheese never tasted so good, and I'm pretty sure it had no calories if you didn't order it for yourself.

8.  I am thankful for the fresh pre-made meals at the grocery store.

9.  I am thankful my kids have never told another person's family some hugely embarrassing lie like: their dad was in jail or their mom has a penis (not that either of those things are true), but we've heard both from other people's kids and it's all kinds of awkward.

10. I am thankful for my comfy sweats.

11. I am thankful for scented sanitizers that have those mini grappling hook thingies.

12. I am thankful for the Magic Eraser, because I'm pretty sure my kids are training to be graffiti artists.

13. I am thankful that at least one of my kids will eat the kinds of foods one wouldn't find on a kiddie menu (it only took 8 years).

14. I am thankful that there are women in my life who would bring me tampons, diapers, or cramp pills in the middle of the night.

15. I am thankful my kids haven't dripped Popsicle juice, pooped on me, peed on me, thrown-up up on me, or wiped a booger on me - all day.

16. I am thankful I can still help my middle schooler with his math homework. When he gets to algebra we're all screwed, but mostly him.

17.  I am thankful that in an emergency, I can always find a Happy Meal toy, rogue Beyblade, or a My Little Pony in my purse.

18. I am thankful my kids brush their teeth once, sometimes twice, a day with only one or two reminders.

19. I am thankful I found my daughter's blankie within the first hour of looking last night, as NO ONE sleeps until it's found.

20. I am thankful I don't have to make school lunches on the weekends.

21. I am thankful my kids listen when I say ridiculous things to get them to eat like: "Animals like to be eaten, they feel happy you chose them," and "You don't want to leave those last pieces out, there's a party in your belly and they want to go too."

22. I am thankful for Costco - because we actually go through that much ketchup.

23. I am thankful I got to rinse and repeat today, I rarely get through rinse without an interruption.

24. I am thankful for wine.

25. I am thankful that bribery totally works in my house.

26. I am thankful for stilettos, sometimes wearing a pair can be the difference between feeling like Rosanne and Heidi Klum.

27. I am thankful for the button on my coffee maker that allows me to set it the night before, cause I'm too tired to push it in the morning.

28. I am thankful I didn't get stuck to my phone, keyboard, door knob or the refrigerator handle all day (it's a sign my kids washed their hands).

29. I am thankful I fit every single dish into this load, it's shocking how gratifying figuring out the logistics of a dishwasher can be ... like a game of Tetris.

30. I am thankful that every once in a while, a kiss still makes it better.

Spill - I won't judge: What are you thankful for as a parent?


Image via Todd Nappen/Flickr

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