We've all had the unfortunate experience of being trapped in close proximity with someone who really, really likes the smell of their own cologne. But while such olfactory assaults are unpleasant, they're not hazardous to our health ... or are they? I guess it all depends on what kind of cologne -- or body spray, as the case may be. Axe Body Spray, to be specific: Apparently the stuff is super popular among stinky sixth-graders in Brooklyn, NY, because a student or students spritzed so much of the stuff in a classroom that EIGHT OTHER KIDS ended up having to go to the hospital.
Look, I have a middle school-aged daughter and I know, firsthand, how heavy-handed tweens can be with synthetic fragrances. But either there were literally clouds of this stuff hanging in the air of that classroom or they put some seriously (dare I say criminally?) toxic ingredients in Axe body spray, because no amount of supposedly opposite sex-attracting aerosol stank should send anybody to the emergency room. I mean, were they huffing Axe?? There seem to be some holes in the official story, detailed by the Board of Education thusly:
Axe Spray was released in a sixth grade classroom yesterday. EMS transported 8 students to the hospital and parents of two students took them to their own doctors. One student declined medical attention. The school is looking into the incident. Disciplinary action is pending.
Disciplinary action is pending? Hmm. Why would someone who was essentially attempting to cover up their B.O. a bit too aggressively deserve to be punished? Unless this was an Axe Body Spray attack. Maybe that's the missing piece to this odd puzzle of a tale? A couple of weeks ago, my 12-year-old daughter was at a party where a few boys got in trouble for spraying Windex at each other. I know, I know -- Windex?! WHY?? Just to be trouble-making punks, I guess. And I suspect the kid or kids behind this Axe attack (if that's what it was) had the same motivation: To be trouble-making punks.
OR Axe is poisonous and should be pulled off the shelves ASAP.
What do you think really happened here?
Image via Amazon