I've said it before and I'll say it again: I don't like the Elf on the Shelf®. I know, I know -- it's not even Halloween yet, why am I going off on an anti-Christmas toy rant now? Well, because apparently the Elf on the Shelf ® ain't just for striking terror into the hearts of potential naughty-listers during the holiday season anymore. That's right, there's now a creepily smug-looking doll to scare kids straight around their birthdays, too. “The Elf on the Shelf®: A Birthday Tradition” is the latest offering from the original book's authors Carol Aebersold and her daughters Chanda Bell and Christa Pitts.
Aebersold explained the concept thusly on a recent TODAY show appearance: “[Santa] gives special birthday magic to the Elf for 24 hours only to come in ... and the Elf flies in, completely gets dressed, decorates, and has a wonderful time. And then watches all the festivities. That evening it flies back to the North Pole."
Where the 24/7 surveillance can continue, bwahahahaha!
“Santa loves birthdays, too, right? Because if you're a child, what's better than Christmas? Your own holiday,” added Pitts.
Yeah, but the cool thing about having your own holiday is that it's supposed to be an unconditional celebration of your existence, not an excuse to elicit good behavior based on the promise of rewards (or the threat of a stocking filled with coal). Are kids truly supposed to believe that just because their Elf is dressed up in a cupcake suit, he's not watching their every move like a hawk? And if he's not watching their every move, then what's the point of him being there? Let's face it: This fiendish pointy-eared pariah is not your "friend." He doesn't want to celebrate your special day. He's a freakin' narc!
I mean, hey -- whatever floats your parenting boat, I guess. I'd never buy this doll for my kids, but that doesn't mean I'm a supermom; it just means I prefer to threaten my children in less of a roundabout way.
"'The Elf on the Shelf' is a registered trademark of CCA & B LLC."
Will you buy Elf on the Shelf®: A Birthday Tradition for your kids?
Image via Amazon