There are so many ways we catergorize bad moms. The most obvious, of course, are those that neglect or abuse their children. No argument there. Those women should NOT be mothers. Though, the behavior doesn't have to be that extreme for other people to label you unfit. There are SAHMs who think working moms are the lowest form of humanity. And forgot about those who chose not to breastfed. They are practically burned at the proverbial stake. But there is something else causing controversey among mommies -- alcohol. Specifically, drinking lots of it.
No -- but let me qualify that. If you don't get wasted in front your kids and you don't have a serious problem, I don't see a problem with occasionally over-imbibing.
As far as I'm concerned, nothing goes better with motherhood than Merlot. I'm not talking about sitting in a room alone with a bottle of wine. I, for one, found a new appreciation for vino after having my son -- thanks to playdates with other tired, working moms. I live in a big NYC apartment building and luckily there are several kids around my son's age. It's not uncommon for a few of us to get together for a "right-before-bed" playdate. The kids even come in their pajamas. It's a great way to tucker them out before bedtime (and hopefully ensure less whining when the time comes). Another HUGE bonus -- it's a time for us moms to decompress, relax, and find kinship in the common struggle that is parenthood.
Now I'd be lying if I said there weren't times when we popped open too many bottles and got a little tipsy on a Friday or Saturday evening. The kids are pretty oblivious, running around, playing with each other. They are having a ball and, to be honest, so are we. It's sanity saving. No one can understand the stresses you go through like a woman experiencing nearly the exact same thing. Of course, there are plenty of people who will judge -- that is something many moms are prone to do. And I don't think anyone should get fall down drunk with their kids around. And there are certain warning signs for alcoholism you should look out for: you feel a strong need to drink, hiding your habit, unable to put limits on how much you drink. Even if the kids don't see it, it's a major problem and will probably only get worse. If you experience any of those, it's time to get help.
But I don't see the problem with toasting (or getting a tiny bit toasted) with friends once a week. As long as the kids are none the wiser, what's the big deal?
Do you think moms who get drunk once a week are bad moms?
Image via Simon Wright/Flickr