Best Party Ever

11 Questions Never to Ask a Mom Before, During, or After Her Kid's Birthday Party

LOL 43

woman blowing up a balloon

Throwing your kid a birthday party can be a stressful event. You want it to be photo-filled and memorable. You want your kid to have the most awesome time. And you want the parents of the kids you invited to get a damn clue.

What is it with kid birthday parties that makes some parents lose their minds and ask the unthinkable? Minds are lost. Minds are blown. Here are the 11 questions never to ask a mom throwing her kid's birthday party.

More from The Stir: My Kid's Birthday Party Isn't an Open Invitation for Me to Babysit Your Child

  1. Can siblings come?
  2. Do you think you can change the date since my kid can't make it that day?
  3. Can I just leave him here while I run a few errands?
  4. My kid doesn't like what's in his goodie bag; can I swap it for another one?
  5. My kid just threw up last night -- is it okay if he still came?
  6. Is that cake made with only organic ingredients?
  7. Are you serving juice? We don't let him have juice. If you are serving juice, we have to make sure my son doesn't drink any. Can you not serve juice?
  8. Is it okay if my kid helps blow out the candles? She gets upset if she can't. 
  9. My daughter really wants your daughter to open her present. Can she do it now?
  10. Can we take home some of your cupcakes for our other kids at home?
  11. Oh hi, birthday party! Sorry we forgot to RSVP! It's not an issue, is it?

Have you encountered any of these questions? What would you add?


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crunc... crunchymomma87

Well I am certainly thankful none of my friends or family would ever be this rude! My sons birthday party is this weekend. I'm having more trouble delegating what people should bring, because I feel like I should provide but they insist on helping. Woah is me, right :) 

the4m... the4mutts

Why are some of these questions bad to ask? I would rather someone ASK if siblings can come, or if they can bring a sick kid, or if they can go run some errands, than to just DO those things, and leave me to feel put on the spot when I have to send the sick kid home,or tell the parent that they have to stay or whatever.

Most of these are not bad questions.

Saras... Sarasahmof3

I did not ask #1 and when I showed up without my daughter's brothers the hostess asked where they were. The invite had my DD name only on it and I thought it would be rude to bring the boys along invited. It turned out that the Mom only knew my DD name and forgot to tell me to bring the boys when I RSVP ed so even though it is rude I now ask. #1

Heidi Posten

I agree that it's much better to ask first rather than just doing some of the things on the list, but honestly even asking is beyond presumptuous, and I've heard all of them, including asking if their kid can blow out the candles, although they asked if they could relight them after the birthday boy already blew them out.  One mom asked if a much younger sibling could attend, I told her that the party was held at an educational facility and that the activities were based on age so he wouldn't be able to fully participate, but she brought him anyway and then left.  The poor kid wasn't able to do anything and his older brother couldn't either, because he had to sit with his little brother and keep him company.  

Felip... FelipesMom

I had a treasure-themed party and had hidden goodie boxes all over the yard, then made maps (one per goodie box, obviously) showing how to get to them. The goodie boxes included edible treats and we had some guests with allergies, especially Felipe's best friend who is allergic to MANY foods. So the boxes were custom-made, and each map had the child's name, so I knew each kid would get stuff they could eat. Well... then I get a text from a family that never RSVPed, sayind "we are running late but are almost there"!!! I had to run and make another map super fast, poach stuff from the other goodie boxes to fill up one more, and find somewhere to hide it. Nightmare, lol!


I really don't see the problem with #6 if they are really good friends. I know me and my bestie could never wait for each other to open gifts:Tell me...No don't ! No no ,tell me! You get more excited than the recipient.

Heather Gullitch

To those of you talking about the RSVP. NEVER move to Mobile, Al. No one here knows how how to RSVP and its beyond frustrating.

the4m... the4mutts

Pft... wanna talk about RSVP... I am getting married in 8 days, and only 7ppl have RSVPd, though they all told my fiance's grandma they were coming. Guess they figured that the nosey old lady would pass it on (i say that with love) but no, she didn't, I heard about so-and-so from so-and-so, and bla bla bla.

For a wedding!!!

Kids' birthdays, yeah, that inconvenient, but a wedding? That's just poo.

Kinda puts things in perspective haha

nonmember avatar Leslie

I don't think asking if the cake or other treats are organic! That's important to some and maybe then they can bring something different for their child...

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