6 Reasons My 5-Year-Old Is the Best at Pop Culture (& Everything Else)

There are certain ages of childhood I honestly have no desire whatsoever to revisit. You know how people are always blatting on about how you should enjoy every precious moment because it goes so fast and someday soon you'll be so incredibly sad that your child isn't little anymore? Well, I call bullshit on this annoyingly ubiquitous warning. Yes, it does go fast, and your children's baby photos will never fail to give your heart-strings a good hard yank, but no, you won't necessarily wish for some sort of parental TARDIS so you can live out the horrific 18-month stage all over again.

I think it's safe to say I enjoy parenting older children far more than I enjoyed parenting babies and toddlers. I don't miss the early days of parenting, but I can definitely imagine looking back on my children's current ages and wishing they could have lasted forever.


For instance, I've really been enjoying the oddball combination of savviness and innocence coming from my 5-year-old, and the unintentional hilarity this often produces. Every week I think, Oh, I should be writing this stuff down, and then I rarely do. So here for posterity's sake are a few reasons my kindergartner has been KILLING ME with awesomeness lately when it comes to Miley Cyrus, Daft Punk, Harry Potter, and more.  

On Miley Cyrus's personal styling choices for her "Wrecking Ball" video, which he peeked at over my shoulder before I had a chance to click away:

"Is that girl crying because somebody stealed her pants?"

Quietly singing Daft Punk's "Get Lucky" to himself:

"We're up all night to have fun ... we're up all night to get ducklings."

Explaining the fact that Jeff Goldblum is bare-chested for the majority of Jurassic Park:

"Oh no! A dinosaur eated his shirt."

Reacting to the arachnid scene in Harry Potter: Chamber of Secrets:

"Now that is a crap ton of spiders!"
Me: "Dylan! You're not supposed to say that."
"That is a crap LOT of spiders."

On using proper Syfy terminology:

"Every time there's a lot of scary animals together it's a nado. You know, like sharknado, wolfnado ... beenado."

On his upcoming Halloween costume:

"I'm Harry Potter's owl, EARWIG!"

Tell me, is the 5-year-old stage one of your favorite ages too?

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