9 'Crimes' Only Kids Can Get Away With

oh dearMy kid likes to complain that her life is just so haaaaaard. And while I roll my eyes (huh, wonder where she gets it from?), I have to agree. It's GOT to be tough having someone pay your bills, do your laundry, and make sure there's food to eat. TOUGH. But I've got news for y'all.

Being an adult is tougher. And not just because of all that bill paying, laundry running, and food making we have to do. As soon as you become an adult, it seems like every fun thing you did as a whippersnapper suddenly becomes ... illegal!

Think about it for a second. How many things does your kid do every day that are part of growing up ... but would get Mom and Dad arrested?


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1. Assault -- Ever watched a kid whack her brother with a doll? Add 15 years, and that's a felony.

2. Attempted murder -- My brother held me under water in the river once just because, well, he was my brother. And yes, I probably could have died if my parents didn't tell him to "KNOCK IT OFF." Wait, what's the statute of limitations here ...

3. Urinating in public -- Oh sure, when THEY have to pee outside behind a tree in the park, it's cute, but when your husband does it everybody's all "OMG, there's a creep with his thing out, hide yo' kids, hide yo' wife!"

4. Public indecency -- On your 5-year-old, stripping in the front yard is still adorable. On you, on the other hand ...

5. Destruction of property -- That red face of shame you get when you realize your 5-year-old just took a crayon to the table of a public place is nothing compared to the fine you'd get for destruction of private property.

6. Larceny -- They call it "taking another cookie after Mom said no." Just try doing that in a restaurant; I dare you (OK, not really ... I'm not aiding and abetting, Mr. Officer!).

7. Child Abuse -- They can bite the other kid on the playground. You can't.

8. Stalking -- Technically perching at the top of the stairs, eavesdropping on the adults is a little creepy. But it gets a whole lot creepier when you're 32 and still doing it.

9. Perjury -- You can ask them if they're telling the truth about that broken vase and still get the "not me" answer, and the worst you can do is send them to their room. A judge could send your hind end to jail!

What do your kids get away with ... for now?


Image by Jeanne Sager

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