9 'Crimes' Only Kids Can Get Away With

LOL 10

oh dearMy kid likes to complain that her life is just so haaaaaard. And while I roll my eyes (huh, wonder where she gets it from?), I have to agree. It's GOT to be tough having someone pay your bills, do your laundry, and make sure there's food to eat. TOUGH. But I've got news for y'all.

Being an adult is tougher. And not just because of all that bill paying, laundry running, and food making we have to do. As soon as you become an adult, it seems like every fun thing you did as a whippersnapper suddenly becomes ... illegal!

Think about it for a second. How many things does your kid do every day that are part of growing up ... but would get Mom and Dad arrested?

More from The Stir: 8 Weirdest Playdate Demands Parents Have Made

1. Assault -- Ever watched a kid whack her brother with a doll? Add 15 years, and that's a felony.

2. Attempted murder -- My brother held me under water in the river once just because, well, he was my brother. And yes, I probably could have died if my parents didn't tell him to "KNOCK IT OFF." Wait, what's the statute of limitations here ...

3. Urinating in public -- Oh sure, when THEY have to pee outside behind a tree in the park, it's cute, but when your husband does it everybody's all "OMG, there's a creep with his thing out, hide yo' kids, hide yo' wife!"

4. Public indecency -- On your 5-year-old, stripping in the front yard is still adorable. On you, on the other hand ...

5. Destruction of property -- That red face of shame you get when you realize your 5-year-old just took a crayon to the table of a public place is nothing compared to the fine you'd get for destruction of private property.

6. Larceny -- They call it "taking another cookie after Mom said no." Just try doing that in a restaurant; I dare you (OK, not really ... I'm not aiding and abetting, Mr. Officer!).

7. Child Abuse -- They can bite the other kid on the playground. You can't.

8. Stalking -- Technically perching at the top of the stairs, eavesdropping on the adults is a little creepy. But it gets a whole lot creepier when you're 32 and still doing it.

9. Perjury -- You can ask them if they're telling the truth about that broken vase and still get the "not me" answer, and the worst you can do is send them to their room. A judge could send your hind end to jail!

What do your kids get away with ... for now?


Image by Jeanne Sager



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nonmember avatar Nkonichiwa

At about 18 months we went into a Hallmark store to browse for some Halloween decorations. My son tucked a toy into my stroller basket while I had my back turned and no one else noticed. They were really nice when I returned it but yeah, he was a little thief at that point!

the4m... the4mutts

LoL this was cute.

My youngest used to get away with "assault" (hitting). We didnt allow it at home, and it took me FOREVER to realize that it was my ex husband teaching him that it was funny.

He would come over to pick up his kids (my 3 oldest) and sometimes take my youngest (not his) if he was going to the park or something. He's a real good guy like that.

Well, he taught my youngest to smack adults in the face when we played peek-a-boo with him! He thought it was hilarious when he saw me or my fiance go "peek-a-boo! OUCH! DONT HIT, THATS A NO-NO!"

Its funny now.

sweet... sweetaspie630

@ the4mutts- I'm dying laughing picturing that ^!

Katriena Young

My little cousin does #4 all the time. In the house shirts and pants come off and then she runs around in her underware.

Emmie25 Emmie25

Our Oldest Always Took Small Flashlights From The Hardware Store. I Don't Know How Many Times I Sent My Husband Back To Return Them. Thankfully Everyone Who Worked There Knew My Husband And Were Always Nice And Laughed When He Returned Them.

Heath... HeatherMarieT88

My daughter doesn't do any of these (at least not at the babysitter or school or at my house, I don't know about at her dads). She just likes to argue a lot. Lol I guess I'm lucky. But the author should've added contempt and that would've been my kid lol

Adrian O'Brien

One time my daughter was supposed to be down for a nap.  Yeah, I'm pretty sure she striped down to her birthday suit and was standing in the window.  We were living on the ground level of an apartment complex.  I found her dancing in the window saying 'Hi' to people as they passed. 

Christine Stevenson

lying about a crime:
according to my mom, i escaped my crib one day as a toddler, early 60's. i wandered over the the neighbours and asked if i could live with them. "my goodness why?!" the neighbour said, my response "my daddy punched me in the stomach and threw me down the stairs"

meanwhile mom was in the basement doing laundry and my dad was having an afternoon snooze in his favourite chair.


cooki... cookinmommyof1

Whem we were kids my parents took us Christmas shopping. Well mom took 2 and das took the other 2. My older sister saw a pair of snow boots that she liked and grabbed them off the shelf. My dad says "no were shopping for your sister". She thew them to the ground ans screamed "no daddy don't beat me!". He never laid a hand on us and was (still is) a cop. He was a detective back them

Needless to say we left Kmart. Lmao

nonmember avatar D Smyth

oh yea i got one sex abuse friend's son abused my son didnt find out til the guy turned 18...then admitted it and was told there was nothing we could do since he did it as a kid...please no bad comments!!!

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