I was late getting my kid to school yesterday. Unfortunately, this is not unusual for us. All last school year we sprinted to catch the bus like we were escaping from an exploding volcano almost every morning. But this time I had a legit excuse, I swear! We were blocked by a fire in an apartment building. Fire trucks were all over the place, black smoke was billowing out the basement, and for some mysterious reason there was a naked man standing in front of the building. Obviously we had to stop and watch for a few minutes.
But my excuse still sounds totally made up. And as long as my one real excuse sounds fabricated, I might as well spend some time now making up truly fake excuses. You know, just so I'm prepared for being too unprepared to get out of the house on time.
1. We woke up to find out we'd swapped brains, just like in the movie Freaky Friday.
2. We couldn't find any matching socks.
3. There was a twerking flashmob blocking our way.
4. Our jet packs ran out of fuel.
5. Bowser demanded a boss battle just as we were leaving.
6. A tornado picked us up and dumped us in the Land of Oz. Good thing James Franco was there with that hot air balloon.
7. Voldemort was chasing us -- in the wrong direction.
8. My son couldn't find his magic wand.
10. Our time machine is out of service.
11. Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition...
12. We forgot to set our clocks forward -- backwards -- which is it again? Oh, not yet? That explains so much.
13. Aliens abducted our clocks.
14. We wanted all the other late people to feel better about themselves.
15. You have reached our customer service line. Your call is extremely important to us. If you would like an explanation for why my son is late for school, press one.
16. I had this really vivid dream that we were homeschoolers.
17. The hosts of Good Morning America kept telling me to stay with them.
18. How do you know we're late? Maybe you and everyone else is early!
19. Someone ate all the breadcrumbs we were supposed to follow.
20. We were just really comfy at home.
Are you ever late getting your kids to school? What's usually your excuse?
Image via Elizabeth/Flickr