25 Fake Swears Parents Use in Front of the Kids

mom traveling kids

The first time my daughter dropped something and said "fudge ripple ice cream," I breathed a huge sigh of relief. She wasn't asking for a sweet treat. She was copying me, specifically copying my go-to "curse" word. Yes, occasionally I curse in front of my kid. But I try not to do it very often, and so I've got some "fake" curses up my sleeve, words I use in place of the really bad four-letter words that I want to say ... but shouldn't. "Fudge ripple ice cream," in case you haven't guessed, is what comes out of my mouth when I want to drop an F-bomb. It gets the job done, but I'll admit it's pretty comical, even a tad bit ridiculous

  • 1. Oh Buzzard Soups!

    2. Zip it, Happy Meal! (stolen from Despicable Me)

    3. Schmaltz! (aka s**t)

    4. Holy guacamole!

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  • 5. Fudge graham!

    6. My brother likes to yell "son of a BEAVER!" when he needs to swear and his kids are around. I like it because it still sounds dirty.

    7. I curse in front of [my kids] but on the occasion I remember in front of other people's kids, I use "oh, sugar snaps!"

    8. [My daughter] came up with "jingledarnit" as an alternative to swearing when we talked about it.

  • 9. Shut the front door!

    10. Flipping (in place of the other F-bomb).

    11. Razzle-frazzit! (Came from an old Looney Tunes)

    12. I say, "Oh coconuts," though I think I stole that from Jake and the Neverland Pirates.

  • 13. I am always yelling "GARBAGE!" It takes the place of many words I want to use ...

    14. I used to say, "Oh crap" all the time. Not exactly the worst curse word, but one day as I was about to scream it I noticed my 4-year-old looking right at me, so, "Oh crumbcake" came out and it stuck!

    15. Sugar pie (in place of sh*t).

    16. Nuckin futs!

  • 17. Oh mustard! (for oh sh*t)

    17. Flip flop! (for f**k)

    19. Hockey Sticks! (for Hell)

    20. Ish! (for sh*t)

  • 21. My mom says "oh fart" instead of the f word.

    21. Fanabala! (f**k)

    23. Friggers! (for f**ers)

    24. Fudge ripple ice cream!

    25. Frick! (for f**k)

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