7 Ridiculous Reasons Women Give for Wanting a Daughter

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little girlGiuliana Rancic is one of those celebrity moms I usually respect, big time. Her willingness to be open about infertility -- a topic that's still very taboo in our society -- was incredibly inspiring. But the way the reality star and mother of little Duke is talking about having a daughter is rubbing me the wrong way.

Rancic says she wants a little girl to dress up like a doll. Literally!

Said Rancic of giving surrogacy another go and adding a sister to her family for little Duke:

I’ll buy her an American Girl doll and they can wear the same outfit, then I can get an adult version of the outfit so the three of us match. I’d Instagram that all day long!

Oh, come on, Giuliana! You're talking about a person, here, not a doll!

Rancic is hardly the first mom to say it, but I wouldn't be doing my daughter (or femalekind) a favor if I didn't say I hope she'll be the last. It's a generalizing of the female experience that rubs me the wrong way, the assumption that all little girls are exactly alike. And when your daughter comes out, with ideas of her own, it can make for a rather rude awakening for a mom.

Worse, if a mom is completely stuck on these ideas of what it means to have a daughter -- whether they work for her girl or not -- she could easily end up making her little girl's childhood a living hell. 

If you have any of these reasons for having a daughter in mind, it's time you drop them for your sake ... and hers:

Why_Want_A_Daughter1. To be your best friend. I love the idea of one day having the friendship with my daughter that some of my girl friends share with their mothers, but at the end of the day, that's not what she's there for. She needs me to be her MOM, and when I need friends, I owe it to her to look to my peers, not lay my troubles at her feet.

2. For dressing up. You have heard of so-called "tomboys," right? Just because she is a she does not mean your child will enjoy being clad in dresses and sparkly things (and who knows, a SON might enjoy those things!). Not to mention even girls who enjoy fashion need to know there is much more to life than looking good in their clothes.

3. To give you grandchildren. There's something extremely creepy about filling your non-existent daughter's non-existent uterus.

4. To be your mini me. One of the coolest parts of having a kid with someone is that they carry parts of you and parts of your partner. That means your kid will NEVER be an exact replica of you, and you should be celebrating that ... not fighting it.

5. To help you gang up on the boys. It can be tough being the only one with estrogen in a house full of testosterone, but siblings should NOT be set at odds with one another for any reason, least of all because of gender.

6. To play Barbies, princesses, etc. See above regarding so-called "tomboys." There is no reason to believe a girl is any more (or less) inclined to like these toys than a little boy. And if she does, there's certainly no reason to limit her to just these items.

7. To shop with you. My 8-year-old daughter is a bit of a "girly girl," but you know what she hates? That's right ... shopping, unless we're in a toy store. Vagina does not equal shopaholic.

What daughter stereotypes bug you? Have you ever made a blunder like Giuliana Rancic?

 

Image by Jeanne Sager

girls, celeb moms

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Coles... Coles_mom

I am as far away from being a girly girl as you can get. I always hoped I'd just have boys because "girl stuff", especially moodiness and drama completely scare me. I have two boys and one girl...and she is all things sparkles and princess and you know what? I love it. I love every sweet little girly thing about her. She considers herself a fairy princess who rides a unicorn and draws rainbows all day long and I literally can't stop my heart from bursting with pride at my little monkey. :) Who knew?!

the4m... the4mutts

I dont think any of the reasons for wanting either gender are stupid. Selective invitro rubs me the wrong way, yes. But simply wanting a pretty little girly girl? So what.

And no matter what personality a child ends up with, ALL PARENTS get a few precious years where the kids think everything mommy does is gold touched by god. She'll get her

Princess if she has a girl, even if for a short while

nonmember avatar AshleighB

Oh my goodness, don't be so sensitive! As women, we all have ideas of how we want to interact with our children (boy or girl) but that doesn't mean we can't be flexible. I said from the moment I found out I was having a girl that I was going to put her in ballet lessons but you know what? If she doesn't like ballet and wants to play sports, that's fine with me. Just because Giuliana says she wants to dress her little girl up doesn't mean she's going to force her child to dress in something she doesn't like as she gets older.

PRIMA487 PRIMA487

Oh get off your feminist high horse and chill!Hey Mutts! Been awhile!

wamom223 wamom223

This was snarly!  I would love a daughter to dress up!  But that isn't the only reason I want a daughter but its a funny thing to say instead of, my heart breaks everyday because I can't just have a baby or even just 'try' for a girl.  So maybe instead of being such a bitch you could try thinking about what its like in someone else's shoes.  It gets old having everyone look at you with pity whenever you talk about having another baby or if you'd like a specific gender.  I bet there are a hundred and one reasons she wants a girl but this was the reason she could throw out and no one would pity her.  Because the sad thing is it comes to a point where being judged like any other woman is better than the pity. 

LuvDx LuvDx

WOW

Blues... Blueshark77

I love my baby girl. Sure the clothes are cute, but it goes way beyond that. I'm sure lots of little girls would love to have an American Girl doll and a matching outfit for both of them to wear, but that doesn't mean she is to be pitied. I do feel sorry for kids of celebs who seem to use them more as an accessory and don't let them be little kids.

nonmember avatar Kristi

I think women who love all the girly things themselves want a girl who will share that love. I don't feel that it is wrong to admit that. Is it wrong when dads want a boy to tinker in the garage with them? No. I think she is okay and like another person said if she is doing selective in vitro then that is a different story all together.....

Mindy James

While I am far-and-away one of the LEAST girly girls out there and wanted only a boy, this article disturbs me greatly.  Seems like the author has deep issues with her own identity and childhood.  People have children for myriad reasons and also have varied expectations, desires, and aspirations for their future progeny.  As any parent knows, when presented with an actual living being most of those preconceived notions fly out the window when faced with the reality of a wonderful and complex child, regardless of sex.  I don't have a problem with another's reasoning for having children.  What I do have a problem with is a parent who is unwilling to allow their child to be an individual person, pursuing his or HER dreams.

Pattirose Cooper

how is that different than men wanting boys?

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