Giuliana Rancic is one of those celebrity moms I usually respect, big time. Her willingness to be open about infertility -- a topic that's still very taboo in our society -- was incredibly inspiring. But the way the reality star and mother of little Duke is talking about having a daughter is rubbing me the wrong way.
Rancic says she wants a little girl to dress up like a doll. Literally!
Said Rancic of giving surrogacy another go and adding a sister to her family for little Duke:
I’ll buy her an American Girl doll and they can wear the same outfit, then I can get an adult version of the outfit so the three of us match. I’d Instagram that all day long!
Oh, come on, Giuliana! You're talking about a person, here, not a doll!
Rancic is hardly the first mom to say it, but I wouldn't be doing my daughter (or femalekind) a favor if I didn't say I hope she'll be the last. It's a generalizing of the female experience that rubs me the wrong way, the assumption that all little girls are exactly alike. And when your daughter comes out, with ideas of her own, it can make for a rather rude awakening for a mom.
Worse, if a mom is completely stuck on these ideas of what it means to have a daughter -- whether they work for her girl or not -- she could easily end up making her little girl's childhood a living hell.
If you have any of these reasons for having a daughter in mind, it's time you drop them for your sake ... and hers:
1. To be your best friend. I love the idea of one day having the friendship with my daughter that some of my girl friends share with their mothers, but at the end of the day, that's not what she's there for. She needs me to be her MOM, and when I need friends, I owe it to her to look to my peers, not lay my troubles at her feet.
2. For dressing up. You have heard of so-called "tomboys," right? Just because she is a she does not mean your child will enjoy being clad in dresses and sparkly things (and who knows, a SON might enjoy those things!). Not to mention even girls who enjoy fashion need to know there is much more to life than looking good in their clothes.
3. To give you grandchildren. There's something extremely creepy about filling your non-existent daughter's non-existent uterus.
4. To be your mini me. One of the coolest parts of having a kid with someone is that they carry parts of you and parts of your partner. That means your kid will NEVER be an exact replica of you, and you should be celebrating that ... not fighting it.
5. To help you gang up on the boys. It can be tough being the only one with estrogen in a house full of testosterone, but siblings should NOT be set at odds with one another for any reason, least of all because of gender.
6. To play Barbies, princesses, etc. See above regarding so-called "tomboys." There is no reason to believe a girl is any more (or less) inclined to like these toys than a little boy. And if she does, there's certainly no reason to limit her to just these items.
7. To shop with you. My 8-year-old daughter is a bit of a "girly girl," but you know what she hates? That's right ... shopping, unless we're in a toy store. Vagina does not equal shopaholic.
What daughter stereotypes bug you? Have you ever made a blunder like Giuliana Rancic?
Image by Jeanne Sager