10 Mortifying Songs You Never Want Your Kids to Sing (VIDEOS)

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Boom BoxAn earworm. You know what that is, right? One of those songs you could curse repeatedly because it gets stuck in your head for hours, days, maybe even weeks at a time? What's even worse than an earworm? An earworm with horrible lyrics that your kids love to sing at the top of their lungs. 

I'm not just talking swear words, either. The scene: you're driving in the car, and all of a sudden, you hear a chorus of "Thong Song" coming from the backseat. You're mortified. At that moment it doesn't matter where they heard it or how the hell they absorbed those catastrophic lyrics into their adorable little minds. What matters: these are YOUR kids. GOD PLEASE don't let anyone ever hear them.

Sure, I'll guarantee you they have NO clue the significance of what they're singing. Sure, seeing an 8-year-old belt out inappropriate lyrics can be cute, a la Sophia Grace.

But man, does it still feel wrong. Check out our list of 10 songs your kids should NEVER ever sing:

1. "Whistle" by Flo Rida

Most offensive lyrics: "Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby / Let me know / Girl I'm gonna show you how to do it / And we start real slow / You just put your lips together / And you come real close ..."

2. "S&M" by Rihanna

Most offensive lyrics: "Sex in the air I don't care / I love the smell of it / Sticks and stones may break my bones / But chains and whips excite me."

3. "Rehab" by Amy Winehouse

Most offensive lyrics: "I'm gonna, I'm gonna lose my baby / So I always keep a bottle near."

4. "Baby Got Back" by Sir Mix-A-Lot

Most offensive lyrics: "I wanna get you home / And ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh / I ain't talkin' bout Playboy / 'Cause silicone parts are made for toys."

5. "Ignition" by R. Kelly

Most offensive lyrics: "I'm bout to take my key and stick it in the ignition."

6. "If U Seek Amy" by Britney Spears

Most offensive lyrics: "All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to if you seek Amy." (Translation: F-U-C-K me)

7. "Wasn't Me" by Shaggy

Most offensive lyrics: "Honey came in and she caught me red-handed creeping with the girl next door / Picture this, we were both butt naked banging on the bathroom floor."

8. "Like a Virgin" by Madonna

Most offensive lyrics: "Like a virgin, ooh, ooh / Like a virgin / Feels so good inside / When you hold me, and your heart beats, and you love me."

9. "Milkshake" by Kelis

Most offensive lyrics: "My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard/ And they're like, 'It's better than yours' / Damn right it's better than yours / I can teach you but I have to charge."

10. Anything by Ke$ha

Exhibit A: "Before I leave brush ma teeth with a bottle of Jack / 'Cuz when I leave for the night I ain't comin' back." -- "Tik Tok"

Exhibit B: "I don't care what people say / The rush is worth the price I pay / I get so high when you're with me / But crash and crave you when you leave." -- "Your Love Is My Drug"

Have you ever been horrified by a song you heard your child sing?

 

Image via ReneS/Flickr

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nonmember avatar KateG

The Kidz Bop CD commercial from a few years ago...

Lollipop - "I wanna lick lick lick lick you like a lollipop... Shawty wanna thuuuuuug..."

nonmember avatar Hahaha

I remember belting out "single white female" (country song) when I was like 10. Anywhere I went... I knew my mother was mortified but I didn't get why so I just sang louder. Now I laugh out loud any time I think of it!! Sorry mom!!

nonmember avatar MammaMel

My son has sung both S&M AND Your Love is my drug...and we still listen to both...he can also sing every song on K-Love...

nonmember avatar pixie

When I was about 5 and my sister 8 my mom often listened to the Rocky Horror Picture show Soundtrack while cleaning house.

One day she comes outside and me and my sister and our neighborhood friends were all sitting their singing "tttttouch me, I wanna be dirrrty"

She was so freaked out, we of course didn't get it but she told us not to sing it and had to call and warn all their parents!

MrsRo... MrsRoberts413

Omg I hated when they used "I'm sexy and I know it" for that M&M commercial-I had kindergarten students singing it everywhere!!!  Granted, a lot of them were not native English speakers, they didn't really understand what it said, just knew it was the M&M song!  *facepalm*

linzemae linzemae

They have "push it" on a commercial now so my 7yr old god son has been singing "ooo baby baby, baby baby"

since... sincerelyjessxo

I work for an 81 year old man his granddaughter who is I think 9 was singing blurred lines while wiggling her eyebrows and dancing. She had no idea what it meant but I think my boss almost had a heart attack lol

Senia... Seniahmom

My kids tear it up to LMFAO. It's hilarious. My oldest would bust out lyrics before age 3. I remember my kid sister singing funky town when she was a little thing. Cracked us up to no end.

KacieLu KacieLu

Bad Touch by the Bloodhound Gang. When I was in high school, I didn't realize my sister (age three) was in the next room while I had my music blasting - the next day she started singing about the Discovery Channel in front of our mother, and I about died...

antfa... antfarmer101

My four year old's favorite song is Moves Like Jagger. Yeah. Good times lol


 

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