I would like all parents to sit down because I'm about to reveal some astonishing and, frankly, fantastical and virtually impossible to believe news about Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's six kids. They are reportedly -- are you sitting? -- all forced to share the same iPad. The horror, the horror. This implausible but apparently true tidbit comes courtesy of a man who tried to steal said iPad -- the ONE that six kids share -- and was arrested for his pains.
It all started when the eldest kid, Maddox, was dropped off at a paintball center in California with a bodyguard. Passersby then noticed a man trying to reach into the SUV Maddox had exited to steal an iPad clearly marked "FAMILY." Sources say it's the iPad that all the kids use.
Let me repeat. All the kids use.
How is this possible?! I know that Angelina can work miracles -- she somehow managed to keep her double mastectomy secret in a town where Amanda Bynes or Lindsay Lohan can't tear a nail without it making the front page of TMZ -- but could she really manage to get SIX kids to SHARE an IPAD?!
I don't believe it. But let's just act like it's true.
Surely Brangelina can afford, like, 100 iPads for each one of their kids. They could buy the entire iPad factory. So why just one iPad for six kids ranging in age 4 four to 11?
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My guess is Brangelina are INCREDIBLY CHEAP. Har! No, my guess is they are trying to teach the kids to SHARE.
Share!!!! What a noble and outdated concept. Not only that, sharing an iPad between six kids would mean that each only gets to spend a small amount of time on it, curtailing their technology habit, and possibly guaranteeing that they grow up to know how to formulate a sentence and make eye contact with other humanoids.
Wonderful and admirable, but is it worth all the screeching and torn ligaments that must ensue when the kids grapple for the iPad?
Or do they not fight?????
I think we know who the next president should be. If you can make six kids share an iPad, getting Congress to agree on anything should be a cinch.
Do your kids share technology? COULD they share technology?
Image via Splash News