Do Moms Deserve a Break? (PHOTO)

kate gosselin
This is me in March 2004 at just 20 weeks pregnant with sextuplets!
If you are a mom, I'm betting you “live tired.” The way I see it, it's as if pregnancy is nature’s way of preparing us for our new way of living a “tired life” -- which quickly becomes our new normal -- for the next 18 years or so. I can only speak for myself and what I know about being pregnant twice ... and having given birth to eight kids. (I still smile when I say -- or write -- that by the way. It still seems to defy logic, but it's my reality and I love it.)

But, regardless of the number of pregnancies and the number of resulting births, I know that my pregnancies were filled with discomfort, lack of thorough rest, and many other “preparations” for motherhood ... like middle of the night waking to go to the bathroom, for example. My pregnancies were sure to be exaggerated beyond the “normal,” and since I don't know what a “normal” pregnancy is like, I can really only guess about this.

I was just telling a friend today about my 54-inch in circumference belly and how in my later stages of my sextuplet pregnancy, I actually had to “carry” it to the bathroom. I also had to “back” into the hospital shower (no, I didn't have back-up lights or beeps, unfortunately) and the nurses would often lean on the door frame of my hospital room watching, and marveling, at HOW I could still walk. Yeah, my pregnancies were anything but “normal.” My “preparation” had to be ramped up to prepare me for the super-duper lack of rest that was headed my way. When parents-to-be ask me for advice, I always say, “Sleep now, because you will never again get enough.” That advice goes for one baby -- or six.

And that brings me to the question that often lingers on my mind ... Do I deserve a break? So I can sleep and rest up -- with NO kids to take care of, for just a day or two? Yes, it's true. I am a single mom and occasionally some or most of my kids visit their dad a few times a month. So, technically, I do get a rest from the craziness of caring for eight ... BUT ... I rarely have complete “kid-free-me-time,” and, honestly, I live sleep-deprived. Moms, no matter our situation, couldn't we all say that?

I ask myself, can I really leave my kids and go visit a friend for a few days and sleep in, chill out, and relax? Is it okay to have some "big people time"? Will I be able to relax or will I worry that they miss me and aren't having fun at home? Is it selfish of me to truly take a "time-out"? I have only ever left my kids for work travels and can't remember ever taking a “vacation” without them ... especially since I've been a single mom carrying such a large load! Can I do it? In general, I would tell a friend that a rested “de-stressed” mom is a better mom and I would strongly encourage her to do it. So why can't I allow myself to do the same?

While we were eating dinner recently, I asked my kids what they thought. Alexis said she'd surely miss me. Hannah thought for a bit and said she thought I definitely could use the break. Leah wanted to know who would be staying with them. And Mady and Cara said, almost in unison, that I was the best mommy in the whole world and of course I could take a few days off! “You deserve it!” Oh my! Oh, and my boys didn't say much -- their sisters tend to do the talking for them in these types of situations. But, when asked again, they said it would be fine and Collin assured me he'd make sure the chickens were well cared for! Ha! Cute! So ... my kids support it overall. Good to know.

As an added bonus, I even have my childcare lined up ... a close family friend has offered to keep them for a few days if I wanted to go away. She is considered a “super fun” babysitter, so once I announce that she is “in on this,” I'll probably be hugged tightly and sent on my way ... immediately! Lol.

After much consideration and thought -- this blog post being part of that process -- I have myself nearly convinced I'll plan a “Break for Mom” trip. I've moved to the planning phase. I'm choosing dates and making arrangements ... oh and uh ... maybe now is a good time to mention that part of that plan includes taking (at least) a few of my kids along? Ha! I was so, so close ... but I caved! So much for this mom’s break! Better luck next time!

How do you feel about taking a “mom only” break? Can you do it?

 

Image via Kate Gosselin

twins & multiples, pregnant sleep, motherhood, emotions, baby prep, kate gosselin

114 Comments

To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

nonmember avatar aj

I've just did this. I went on a trip to visit my family for a graduation w/o my 3 month old son or husband. They stayed home and had a boys night & day and I went to the graduation. It was an overnight trip but I didn't have to worry about my baby or my husband or anyone else. I just had fun and enjoyed the moment. I never worried about my baby because my husband is so sweet to him and even more protective of him than I am. I think everyone needs a little "me" time. My husband gets to go out with his friends, and I do too. It's a nice compromise. We both come home less stressed and we miss each other so it's a happy reunion.

silve... silverdawn99

Every mom deserves a kid free vacation


Yes its summertime here but it also means i am on call 24/7 while my husband, *love him* gets to go to work and adult interaction. Yes i do resent the kid free time he has and i would love to be able to just get away for more than a couple of hours without the kids LOL

nonmember avatar Diedre

You get LOTS of "mommy time", Kate. Please stop lying to us readers. You are making a spectacle of yourself anymore with this tripe.

nonmember avatar Sunny Day

I can't wait for the banter on this one.

nonmember avatar Gramm

Your trip to the Derby wasn't enough? It was only one month ago. That surely isn't "work". Send all the kids to Jon's at one time and there is your me time. Selfish woman! You were just so excited a little bit ago to have them home with you for the summer and now you want to get away from them. I expected this. hahaha.

I rarely had that. One 3 day vacation in 5 yrs of marriage. One week vacation in all the years of raising my kids because I HAD TO WORK. I wish my "work" entailed standing around, talking, smiling, signing autographs. Try a real factory or commercial cleaning job for years. Then you can say you "WORK".

You would be less stressed if you admitted your journals were true and let them be published.

Gerti... Gertie594

What a joke this is. What about when you went to Cabo with Steve? And once again, under the wheels of the bus goes Jon. She just can't help herself. Only a few times a month do they see him Kate? I think not. Some of us know for a fact how often he has them, all of them.



For those of you who still think Kate is this wonderful, warm fuzzy mom, go to Gosselinbook.com. There is nothing written by Robert just 40 links to Kate's behavior that show her for exactly who she is. Ironically, a large number of those posts are from here on the Stir from writers.

nonmember avatar caninedivine

You've never had a non-working vacation from the kids? How stupid do you think we are? What about your two trips to Las Vegas, the trip to San Diego, and trip to Mexico? These are all post-divorce.

mommy... mommydetwins

One thing I will say, this article was far better written.   The lack of the usual adjectives tells me it may not be her own work.  It's heavily edited anyway.   While I agree every parent deserves Me time, we have to remember that her kids are all in school full time, with a 45 minute bus ride before and after school hours.  She has all the  time in the world to go visit friends for adult conversation over lunch and some fun activity, or to spend time with her family  members.  She could spend that time volunteering, chatting up a storm with a lot of adults. There are lots of things she has plenty of time to do, kid free.   But if she wants to drive her (used to be an Audi) out of town to do it, I guess she will.  With whom will she be having this adult conversation on her vacation?  

nonmember avatar Jane

"Mommy time" ......my @ss....This womAn gets more me time than anyone I know....she's got some nerve. She doesn't even have a real job. Try that some time and see if you can have me time. so ridiculous....is is such utter nonsense. Where does she get off complaining with all the help she has plus her ex taking the kids half the time. At least she kept this article short.....not like the other posts where she would jabber on and on until you want to stick needles in your eyes...other than that. its just more of the same mindless crap.

nonmember avatar Kristi

I do it once a year. I think we owe it to ourselves to recharge and I truly believe I come back a better mom. Right now my daughter is only 2, so we get away for just a few days (this year was a cruise to the Bahamas), but when she is older we plan on taking a week long vacation... just for us!

1-10 of 114 comments 12345 Last
F