7 Birthday Presents Every Parent Dreads

Jeanne Sager | Jun 5, 2013 Big Kid

birthday presents every parent dreadsMy kid turns 8 this week, and like any normal kid in America, she is excited about the prospect of birthday presents. Like any normal parent in America, I'm absolutely dreading the birthday presents.

Don't get me wrong, I am absolutely jazzed that people are kind enough and love my kid enough to want to make her day special with gifts. That means I must be doing something right here.

I don't want to sound ungrateful (although I'm sure I will), but I've been here before. Year after year after year, the birthday parties happen, and year after year after year, my kid ends up with something that I would never in a million years have actually bought for her.

Does that make me a bad person? Hating gifts someone went out of their way to buy my kid?


But if I'm going to hell, you might as well jump in the handbasket with me (I promise, there's room ... and maybe some chocolate).

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Because I know I'm not alone. Every mother and father I know has had one of those "Oh God, who bought her THAT?" moments, when their eyes bug out and their mouth drops open. We're usually pretty good about it; we paste a huge smile on our faces and shout an overly effusive "thank you" to cover our horror.

We aren't rude, for cripes' sakes, we're just ... real. And in real life, sometimes kids get things their parents don't want them to have ... like anything on this list!

Fingers crossed we make it to 8 without them!

What is the worst thing anyone has ever bought for your child? What did you end up doing with it?


Image by Jeanne Sager

  • A Pet


    Image via MIKI Yoshihito (´・ω・)/Flickr

    This is not a present for a kid! It is more work for mom!

    I have two dogs, two cats, a bowl of sea monkeys, a kid, and a husband to keep alive. That's enough!

  • Baby Stuff


    Image via _-0-_/Flickr

    Not everyone knows what my kid is into; I get that. And some of my child-free friends don't really know what is age-appropriate. But you know what happens when someone blows $50 on baby books for an 8-year-old? As kind as it was, that entire pile of books just gets donated to the local library.

  • Slutty Toys


    Image via Brandi Jordan/Flickr

    I don't know a better way to really describe these, but you must know what I mean. The dolls with hooker makeup, the dolls with barely there clothes, the dolls with ...

  • Another Stuffed Animal


    Image via BCPL Photo/Flickr

    Please! For the love of all that is holy! Not ANOTHER stuffed animal. There's barely any room for the kid left in the bed at night as it is.


  • Anything With Small Pieces


    Image via EvelynGiggles/Flickr

    My best friend hates LEGOs. I love them.

    But now I kind of get why she hates them ... because people have started giving MY kid things with a million itty bitty pieces that either A. end up under my foot or B. end up getting lost and rendering a particular toy completely useless.

  • Beauty Supplies


    Image via gre.ceres/Flickr

    The kiddie bath sets are just so cute, aren't they? What with the hormone-interrupting chemicals and the cancer-causing chemicals and the ability to make my 8-year-old look like she's 16 ...


  • HUGE Toys


    Image via limaoscarjuliet/Flickr


    I have a finite amount of space in my house. If it's bigger than a piece of furniture, keep it at your house!

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