10 Things Your Mother Told You That You Should Never Repeat to Your Kid

Mom Moment 24

classic momisms we should retireSometimes parenting is a lot like playing a broken record. You hear yourself saying the same things over and over and over again. And sometimes you hear yourself saying the same things that generations of parents before you have said.

Some of it is just, well, why re-invent the wheel? "So, stop touching it," still applies today!

But every once in awhile, something comes out of my mouth -- or the mouths of my fellow parents -- that makes me groan. Just because it's a classic "momism," doesn't mean it should be said in 2013!

 

In fact, it's high time we nix a few of these from our vocab, Ok moms (and dads)?

1. It won't hurt! Really, Mom? Even your kid knows that's a bald faced lie! You're just setting yourself for them to distrust you. I prefer, "It will only sting for a few seconds" or "It will hurt for a second, but then we can get ice cream!"

2. He's just picking on you because he likes you. No, actually, he's just picking on her because he's a little brat and people continue to treat him like it's "cute" to pull girls' pigtails. You wouldn't tell your 26-year-old daughter that some creep in the bar "likes her" when he acts like a jerk, so why are you doing it to your 6-year-old?

3. Boys will be boys. This falls right in with #2. Just because plenty of boys his age tend to be a bit more rambunctious than certain girls doesn't mean the behavior can be excused. Acknowledge that some things he does may be natural behavior, and then do something about that instinct to be destructive! Be a parent! Instruct your kid on what is good to do!

4. Would you like a punch in the nose? I never really understood why parents threaten their kids with ridiculous violence that (hopefully) they would never actually follow through on. If you wouldn't do it to your kid, why would you say it? Pretty soon your  kid is going to realize you're all bark and no bite, and then discipline will get "really" fun.

5. Wait until your father comes home! I'll 'fess up; I've said it. And I am not proud of it. What good can come from making your child fear one of their parents? I'm afraid there's none really.

6. They're just jealous of you. Well, well, well, know we know where the whole "entitled" stereotype came from. It's possible to tell your kid someone else is a jerk without stroking their (already inflated) ego.

7. If you don't eat your vegetables, [insert HORRIBLE thing here] will happen. No it won't. You know what will happen? You'll have to compost six stalks of broccoli, and you'll be pissed off that you wasted money at the farmer's market.

8. Clean your plate, there are starving people in X. While it's true that there ARE starving people all around the world, one has absolutely nothing to do with the other. Fact is, cleaning your plate isn't always a good thing. All it does is screw up your kid's sense of portion control and put them at risk of an eating disorder down the line.

9. I was in labor with you for X hours. Enough with the martyr act, ladies. You decided to have a kid; you don't get to keep holding your labor over their heads.

10. LOOK at me when I'm talking to you. This falls more under "sometimes it's not worth it" than "strike this entirely. If there's one thing I'm determined not to forget, it's how I felt when my parents talked to me. I remember that looking them in the eyes never made me hear them better; it just made me more emotional (and usually more pissed off). The last thing I want to do is make my kid more angry ... and less likely to listen to what I'm saying to her. Sometimes kids need to look at us, but before you trot this one out, think about it. What are you going to gain?

Do you say these things to your kids? What other momisms do you think we need to retire?

 

Image by Jeanne Sager

discipline, family, food

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amnew... amnewlon8982

I always have my children make eye contact with whoever is speaking to them. It applies even when they aren't in trouble because it's polite.

keelh... keelhaulrose

I agree with amnewlon. Eye contact is important when talking, even if the subject isn't pleasant. How many times have you talked to your child and they've been more interested in what was going on behind you and didn't first a word you said? 

zombi... zombiemommy916

#4...really? People do that? While I'm definitely guilty of utilizing a majority of these "momisms", I've never threatened to punch my kids...and I also agree with the above posters, eye contact is definitely important in my book...

jalaz77 jalaz77

I have never threatened my kids with violence, who would?? I do make them look at me when we talk cause then I know they heard me, I noticed in the past when they didn't look at me they couldn't tell me what I just said. I do say there are starving kids but I do NOT make them clean their plate, that can cause food issues down the road. I do make them eat a little bit of everything though.

early... earlybird11

So you don't want them to be polite ? You sound awesome.... Or just grasping to write another awful article

early... earlybird11

So you don't want them to be polite ? You sound awesome.... Or just grasping to write another awful article

daydr... daydreamer6170

i think ill stick with the way my parents/grandparents raised children instead of coddling little entiteled brats like the little demons i keep seeing out and about.

April... AprilJune

I agree! #1 especially- they will never believe you on the big stuff if you lie for the little stuff. I am also guilty of saying "Wait until Daddy comes home!", but I try not to because I don't like what it implies either. It was interesting to read your perspective on the eye contact thing. I just did this yesterday...I insisted my daughter look at me while I was talking to her about her poor behaviour, she was clearly uncomfortable, but I felt I would know she was listening. Perhaps I will try another tactic next time. Great list!

Victo... Victoria0785

I was a painfully shy child and forcing me to look into adults eyes was too much for me most days, whether in trouble or being polite. I would cry when people forced me to look them in the eyes! As I got older and more confident I grew out of that and now have no issues but my point is that forcing a child to do something that clearly makes them uncomfortable is not good, instead focus on why it makes them uncomfortable.



As for the article, growing up I hated "do as I say, not as I do" how about set a better example for your kid to follow? Being a hypocrite is never goof and teaches kids not to trust you.

mandy... mandysue88

I don't see any issue with half of this people are dumb. parenting is not an exact science what works for one may not work for another.... Eye contact is the key to raising a polite child so that one is ridiculous to say to stop doing. This article was useless and I did not like it at all. You have fun raising your entitled spoiled brat who does not truly respect you. Being a fun parent may sound amazing but being a responsible parent is best.

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