You guys, Gwyneth Paltrow has the best mom job ever. She's just become the brand ambassador for new Hugo Boss fragrance Jour Pour Femme, and it's enabling her to bring home the turkey bacon and fry it up in a pan. "I have had a really good experience working for Boss, and I always say this, but it really is such a perfect job when you have kids," the Goop One says.
So thanks to smart life and career choices, Gwyneth gets up at 7 a.m., gets the kids ready for school, takes them there, hangs out with her son for a while before his classes begin, works out for two hours to get that stripper's ass, works on Goop, picks up her kids from school, and then enjoys "various activities" with them. Oh yeah, and this new $2 million job will require her to travel to Spain for two days, but it's just two days, and anyway, we love Spain. Wow, that does sound like the perfect job when you have kids.
Gwyneth loves this new job because what with the kids and all she has to limit herself to starring in only one movie a year. I mean, how does anyone get by these days appearing in only one film? Brand ambassadorships, baby. That's how. It kind of makes me wonder where I went wrong in my life choices that I am not also enjoying the "perfect job when you have kids." Let's take a look and see:
Gwyneth's Life Path to Perfect Job for When You Have Kids
1. Be born to a TV producer and a movie star.
2. Skip college and become a movie star instead.
3. Marry a huge rock star and have two kids.
4. Start your own web magazine.
5. Nab a few brand ambassadorships.
6. Limit yourself to starring in only one movie a year.
Well shit! I totally did it wrong. Here's what I did instead.
1. Was born to regular people.
2. Went to college and majored in English.
3. Married a starving artist, had a kid, and then divorced him (for a very good reason, which I will not go into here).
4. Got various jobs doing stuff.
5. Started writing for a living.
6. Currently limit myself to one full-time job because I haven't figured out how to clone myself.
So am I just a wee bit envious of Gwyneth's mom job? Yeah, I'm a big enough person to admit that I am. But while it's fun to tease Gwyneth a bit for her absurdly charmed life, I really can't complain. Sure, I get up an hour earlier and only work out for 45 minutes. I'm running into the city most weekdays, and when I get home, I'm still on duty, cooking dinner and getting my son ready for bed. But I get to do what I love all day long. I still end up spending a lot of time with my son. He thinks what I do for a living is super cool. And I have a lot of flexibility.
So the perfect mom job really depends on your perspective -- and maybe your ability to feel gratitude for what you have. Hooray to both of us for finding the perfect job for when you have kids.
What kind of job do you think is "perfect" for a mom?
Image via People magazine