25 Things All Moms Say to Their Kids Sooner or Later

LOL 39

In my recent post about decoding Momisms, I realized that not only have I officially become a mother, I may have officially become MY mother. Not that she was bad, she was and is wonderful, but she spoke a language of cliche "parentese" that I swore would never pass my lips.

No, I would never say, "Because I said so," as I intended to have long conversations with my brilliant offspring in which I would explain my decision and discuss my reasoning ad nauseum.

I mean, they deserved to be talked to like adults, right? No quickie threats or illogical arguments? Well, at least that's what I assumed when I was one of them. Now, I realize those phrases were uttered to stop from having conversations (ad nauseum) about EVERY LITTLE THING or because they were simply quick, to the point, and preserved sanity.

Here's a list of those things we swore we never say (but do):

The Illogical:

  1. Don't look at me with those eyes.
  2. Children are to be seen, not heard.
  3. If you keep making that face, it'll freeze that way.
  4. If you want to act like a child, I'll treat you like one.
  5. Quiet down, I can't even hear myself think.
  6. One day you'll thank me.
  7. Because I said so, that's why!

The Logical:

  1. As long as you're under my roof, you live by my rules.
  2. God gave you a brain, use it.
  3. Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer.

The Sarcastic:

  1. Are your legs broken?
  2. If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?
  3. Oh, Jen's mom lets her do (Blank), fine, go live with Jen's mom ... I'll help you pack.
  4. Shut the door, were you born in a barn?
  5. Your room looks like a cyclone ran through it.
  6. Talking to you is like talking to a brick wall.
  7. Let's play the quiet game
  8. Someone better be bleeding.
  9. Where are your manners -- were you raised by wolves?

The Threatening:

  1. I'm not asking, I'm telling.
  2. When you have kids, I hope they're just like you.
  3. Don't you use that tone with me Mister/Missy.
  4. Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about.
  5. You better wipe that look off your face.
  6. Don't make me: tell you again / come back there / turn this car around, et al.

Well, did I miss any phrases?

Image via Jenny From the Blog @TheSuburbanJungle.com

confessions, discipline, safety, behavior, elementary school, family, independence, your kid asked what, home life


To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

mexic... mexicanseaf00d

My parents used the "I'll give you a reason to cry" with me. Then again, I was a crybaby and cried for everything. My mom even used the : "You're such a crybaby, you probably cry because your poop smells." /: 

I find myself using "I'm not asking you, I"m telling you" with my students all the time. 

SRTmo... SRTmom6127

When my kids ages 23, 21, & 17 do something they know will annoy me I ask them "Are you new here?"

nonmember avatar Kim

When I was growing up it was always "You just wait until your father gets home"

Katriena Young

I always got "Do I have to take you out to the car?" from my dad if I threw a fit while out shopping.

Cathy Correia

wait til ur father gets home

Smith Cristant

There's duct tape in your future kid!

Blues... Blueshark77

"I'm going to count to 3. One...two..."


Kynthia Alice Rosgeal

If you dont stop crying I'll give you something to cry about. Because, as we all know, kids cry for no reason (Sarcasm)

posh777 posh777


nonmember avatar Tammy

"This hurts me more than it hurts you."

1-10 of 39 comments 1234 Last